The Complete Guide to Consequences™

1 DVD (63 minutes), 25-page Workbook

4.6 out of 5 based on 172 customer ratings
172 customer reviews
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When parents use consequences effectively, their children can better learn how to be accountable and responsible, how to control their emotions, and how to follow through and succeed. We’ll show you how to get to what works – even if your child is ultra-resistant or has ADD, ADHD or ODD.

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$99.00 $69.00

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What Are Parents Saying?

  1. 5 out of 5

    Picking your battles and setting limits

    Complete Consequences has helped me to pick my battles wisely, Take a break before screaming and simply stating my limits and walking away. My daughter has really came around in the last month and is such a joy to be around. AND she is now doing her jobs around the house with only one request and very More little sarcasm and manipulation. I found this program at the point I would lose my sanity! It helped me so much! I highly recommend it and the parent hotline is a life saver!!!
  2. 5 out of 5

    Excellent lesson on consequences!

    I loved this DVD. It taught me so much about not whether or not I'm a good parent, but if I'm an effective parent. That mindset is so important in me being able to keep my composure during heated situations. I really understand how important it is to have consequences that are related to the offense. More Instead of having my son get used to "jail" time through groundings, he is productively working on concepts of problem-solving and "righting" wrongs with people. I'm also working on helping him think about those things, what he could do differently next time to stay out of trouble and make different choices. My thinking is more about what I want to accomplish with the consequences, to come up with something more appropriate to achieve a particular goal. He is more productive in his consequences as a result. He also likes it less because I'm making him think about what he did, for a much longer time. My son is a former foster youth, so he has many things to un-learn from his past of unwise decision-making, and to learn the proper things. However I'm confident that we have more effective ways of dealing with his behavior now. As a result, I know we will see results a lot more quickly, especially since our prior method of consequences wasn't working.
  3. 5 out of 5

    I have my teenage daughter back! Thank you!

    From lesson 1 to the end, this course was invaluable in getting my daughter to understand that her behavior was unacceptable and to create change from within. Being able to talk with her without her putting up walls was like magic. Thank you so much.
  4. 3 out of 5


    Worth trying. We have seen some improvement. Will continue the program.
  5. 3 out of 5

    None Given

    There is definitely less yelling in our home. Our son is realizing that he is accountable for his own actions and that blaming others is useless. It is certainly a work in progress, and we are seeing some results.
  6. 4 out of 5

    Concise, helpful, scripted EXAMPLES

    The role plays were very valuable.
  7. 5 out of 5

    Great guide

    Loved it. Made my daughter watch it too. She got it real quick once we watched and realized I was not joking anymore.
  8. 5 out of 5

    None Given

    I really like the program. I believe it is very practical.
  9. 5 out of 5

    It does work

    My seventeen year old grandson does not live with us but is here daily. He lives in a single parent house. I was ready to just tell them he could not come here any more. He was rude and abusive. My husband is disabled and I was afraid my grandson would get angry and hurt him. After starting the program More things are much better. Although not perfect, he has less melt downs, doing better in school and is not as rude. The bad part is that his mom still has not tried even the first step and things between them are still bad. I learned a lot so far and would recommend this program to any one with a strong willed child.
  10. 4 out of 5

    Pleasant Homefront

    I have been able to integrate many of the techniques easily into our daily life as soon I had listened to the CD. My 7 year old was very manipulative and it was easier for me to just "give in" to his way of doing things than to deal with another temper tantrum or screaming fight. I first began by setting More time limits on how many minutes he would go without TV and wouldn't budge on it. Once he realized I was serious, I started to gain a little respect. Then I began to introduce giving 2 options, that were not his options, but mine. I have used other techniques taught by the book, and by introducing one by one, he has learned that I am not tolerating the disrespectfulness and that he is responsible for his actions. Of course, I also am practicing techniques from Total Transformation as well. Our family time is so much more enjoyable.
  11. 4 out of 5

    Consequences - finally a breakthrough!

    This was a real game-changer in our household. This guide with role plays on how to give effective and appropriate consequences was incredibly relevant and useful. It was a real breakthrough in my relationship with my 14 year-old son and a way to manage each other's expecations about what is acceptable More and unacceptable behavio and the consequences of such.
  12. 4 out of 5

    Consiquences Review

    I am a mom who has an adult teenage son with a strong will & very headstrong. I have tried many things. Consiquences with amends is helping. I have to be more calm & less involved in doing & let him be more committed to correcting it himself. I have stopped financially fixing or just yelling. You have More a good program that gives good examples & I am seeing training that is working for me. My son & I are still having struggles but our dialogue has improved. Thank you, Noel S.
  13. 5 out of 5


    this set of consequences with the role playing in video was extremely helpful -it reminded me that i wasn't alone all kids r acting this way and the calm cool approach is best- the situations are realistic and can help u to identify
  14. 5 out of 5

    Wish I started earlier!

    This program has provided me with great solutions to motivate my children to make smart choices, that make following our family rules more pleasant. I wish I had started this program when the kids were younger because I think about how much easier it would have been for all of us. It is clear and precise. More There are many different solutions for everyday challenges for all types of personalities. The Total Focus program has also been beneficial for my daughter with ADD. The program as a whole is the solution for parenting effectively. Thank you for providing such helpful tools to parents!
  15. 5 out of 5

    SOOOO Helpful. My Only Complaint is I Wish There Were More!

    The Complete Guide to Consequences was so helpful in dealing with my son. In the total transformation, they go into detail about consequences and how they should be applied, but it really made a huge difference seeing those things role-played out. My husband had not gone through the total transformation More with me and the other day, had gotten really frustrated with a situation where my son was being defiant and disrespectful. He finally said, "What can I do? What can I listen to from some of that stuff you've been learning that can help me here?" I told him we should just sit down and watch the Consequences role-playing DVD, and that'd give him a great overview of what I'd learned in the Total Transformation. So, we did that and he felt so much better. He finally was able to grasp what I had been talking about and felt like he could "mimic" what the parents were doing successfully with their kids in those situations. My only complaint about the Complete Guide to Consequences is that there weren't MORE! I would love to see some role plays on what to do when a child refuses to hand over their ipod, phone, or video game. I'd also love to see some role playing dealing with drug use/abuse, alcohol use/abuse, etc. Thank you so much for this valuable resource!!
  16. 5 out of 5

    44 Year Intervention Public School Educator

    James Lehman brings a very concise approach to working with difficult situations. As a long time educator in public schools, I am always looking for a better approach to reach today's youth. Too many are dropping out of high school and as a result, dropping out of life. I kept hearing ads for the Total More Transformation Program on the radio while driving to work. I finally decided to call and see what it was all about. I ordered the program and immediately could see the power that James brings to the game. His background and insight are invaluable. I have practiced many of his teachings on various students in different situations, and overall, his methods are spot on and have really helped me find success with difficult students! Dealing with students the way I do daily has shown me that WE must change what WE are doing if we are going to be able to reach today's youth. The job is too important. We can NOT continue to teach the way we did 50 years ago. Kids just don't learn the same way anymore! As teachers and parents, we will either change our approach, or we will lose too many of our kids. After completing the Total Transformation program, I had to order the Consequences Program. It was just as great. I am very glad that I took the time to do the work necessary to gain the insight that James offers. I completed all of the required surveys within the time frame and Legacy Publishing did refund my expenses for the program just as promised. As soon as I have the time, I will order the remaining programs. I look forward to them. As you can see, I highly recommend these programs to anyone who is struggling to manage difficult behavior, whether at school, or at home.
  17. 5 out of 5

    None Given

    I have wasted so much time in needless arguing with my child! The Complete Guide to Consequences has taught me how to put both myself and my child's time to better use. Before using the Total Transformation program, I would go into lengthy discussions/arguements with my child, justifying myself & defending More my position. Now, I know how to give them a clear direction & walk away. No speeches - just set the limit & walk away. It literally stops my child dead in their tracks! No more argueing, blaming or excuses. The Complete Guide to Consequences has brought peace & quiet to our home.
  18. 5 out of 5

    Be calm and consistent

    The Complete Guide to Consequences was & continues to be helpful in reminding me to be consistent, be a coach, be calm. I gave in too easily; this guide shows me how a coach can "teach" and apply tough love to help the child develop an understanding of how he should think through his actions because More of the correctly used consequences to bad actions/behaviors and good consequences to good actions/behaviors.
  19. 4 out of 5

    Helpful Tools

    We completed the Total Transformation (TT) program last year with positive results, but found ourselves still struggling with motivating a 6-year old to complete daily routines on time and without argument (e.g., getting ready for school, getting ready for bed, completing homework). The Consequences More program reinforced some of what we learned in TT and even gave us additional tools to use. The role plays were helpful, although they do focus more on older children and teenagers (the only reason why I didn't rate the program 5 stars overall). Modifying the approaches to fit our life with a young child wasn't too difficult, and while we are still a "work in progress," daily routines are no longer the struggle they used to be.
  20. 4 out of 5

    My Son's Behavioral Progress

    After viewing "The Complete Guide to Consequences" and applying them to my own issues with my son at home, I found his progress to be a complete 360 degree turn around. Not saying that we have not had some challenges but not nearly as many as before. The most challenging is to think of creative consequences More in some cases and have the consequence fit the behavioral issue. The results have been incredibly successful. His grades and attitude have greatly improved. I am so glad that was able to view the program.
  21. 5 out of 5

    Excellent resource

    The complete guide to consequences showed me exactly what I needed to do in order to be a more effective parent. I have always struggled with discipline and my kids. My oldest child seemed impossible to get "under control". After viewing and reviewing the guide, I have finally found answers to all the More problems I had with getting my kids to behave...I would recommend this product to any parent struggling with out of control behavior from their child. It works on teenagers and middle school ages equally well! Thank you for the great resource!!!!
  22. 5 out of 5


    this has been very helpful to my son and myself. He was having an angry negative argument with me. I stayed calm and when he began to swear I stated that he must stop that language, that it was verbally abusive and not allowed. As we continued our discussion he was catching himself when he was about More to utter profanities and stopped and rephrased. I was stunned. Its small steps that matter in an overall positive outcome.
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Product Features:

  • 63-Minute DVD
  • 25-page Workbook

Teach your child to be accountable and responsible.
When parents use consequences effectively, their children can better learn how to be accountable and responsible, how to control their emotions, and how to follow through and succeed. We’ll show you how to get to what works – even if your child is ultra-resistant or has ADD, ADHD or ODD.

Take control, and stay there.

  • Stop getting into it on your child’s level
  • Be consistent with discipline
  • No more accepting excuses
  • Don’t let situations escalate into arguments
  • Stop justifying and defending your actions
  • Master your authority
  • No more giving in and giving up

In this program, you’ll learn:

  • The exact difference between a punishment and a consequence
  • How to effectively use consequences to shape behavior
  • A menu of consequences to use with your child
  • How to help your child learn from consequences
  • When to correct a mistake after a slip up
  • How to motivate your child to behave responsibly

This program works best when used with the behavior management plan of The Total Transformation® Program.

1-on-1 Coaching

When you need guidance through a specific situation, have questions about your program or just need someone to listen when you’re overwhelmed, our professional 1-on-1 Coaches are waiting to help. Each is highly experienced with our range of learning programs, and dedicated to personally motivating and supporting you. Simply call or email and get personalized guidance related to your program. Plus, since 1-on-1 Coaching is an optional service, you can elect to use it as long as you need it.

Our professional staff of 1-on-1 Coaches is here to help guide you through your learning program. Many have experienced parenting challenges firsthand, and offer a fresh and knowledgeable perspective.

Coaching can be added to your order during the checkout process.

Q: I have both The Total Transformation® Program and The Complete Guide to Consequences. Which program should I start with?

A: You are welcome to start with either program you wish. James Lehman addresses effective consequences in both programs. We typically find that it is most effective to start with the Total Transformation Program first, in order to have a solid foundation for applying the techniques described in The Complete Guide to Consequences.

The James Lehman Approach

Drawing from personal experience and 30 years in the field

“I was a kid with behavior problems—about the worst problems you can imagine.” – James LehmanJames Lehman, MSW

James Lehman, who dedicated his life to behaviorally troubled youth, created The Total Transformation®, The Complete Guide to Consequences™, Getting Through To Your Child™, and Two Parents One Plan™, from a place of professional and personal experience. Having had severe behavioral problems himself as a child, he was inspired to focus on behavioral management professionally. Together with his wife, Janet Lehman, he developed an approach to managing children and teens that challenges them to solve their own problems without hiding behind disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior. Empowering Parents now brings this insightful and impactful program directly to homes around the globe.

“Parent the child you have, not the child you wish you had.”

1-on-1 Coaching

Only Empowering Parents offers professional 1-on-1 Coaching to help guide you through our learning programs, answer your questions and listen when you need to talk.

Simply call or email when you are ready for personal, 1-on-1 support and we’ll be there to help you.

Select 1-on-1 Coaching during the checkout process.