The Complete Guide to Consequences™

1 DVD (63 minutes), 25-page Workbook

4.60 out of 5 based on 172 customer ratings
172 customer reviews
Write a Review

When parents use consequences effectively, their children can better learn how to be accountable and responsible, how to control their emotions, and how to follow through and succeed. We’ll show you how to get to what works – even if your child is ultra-resistant or has ADD, ADHD or ODD.

Order online or call 800-258-4315, 9:00 AM – 5:00 PM (EST)

$99.00 $79.00

You've Added

1-on-1 Coaching

Parents tell us every day: “1-on-1 Coaching makes all the difference“.

Try Our Introductory Offer: Only $1 for 30 Days of Full Access

When you need guidance through a specific situation, have questions about your program or just need someone to listen when you’re overwhelmed, our professional 1-on-1 Coaches are waiting to help.

$1 For The first month Then $99 Per Month Thereafter

Our Guarantee: If within 60 days from subscription activation you are not 100% satisfied with your purchase, simply call us for a complete refund of the subscription price.

How to Use Consequences That Work For Your Child

1-ON-1 Coaching Available!

  • Reviews
  • About
  • Coaching
  • FAQ

What Are Parents Saying?

  1. 5 out of 5

    new view of consequences

    Whenever I had given consequences to my daughter in the past, most often she would not follow through, especially when it was a grounding. The way the video talks about consequences makes it clear and task oriented rather than time oriented because in doing the task, or stopping themselves from doing More something for a period of time, gives the child/teen practice to do things differently and so parents can become more effective.
  2. 5 out of 5

    Consequences Program: Real and Effective!

    The Consequences Program by Legacy is real, affordable, and effective. The program helped my daughter to gain cognitive moral development and emotional intelligence. For instance, yesterday she threw a tantrum and hurt my feelings. Today she presented me with a written sorry note that was heart felt More and heart warming. She asked for my forgiveness and wrote a very thoughtful analysis of what physiological change triggered her behavior, that she was was sorry and designed a plan that involved second order critical thinking and even second and third order consequences. Thank you very much for the jewel of the program. It restored peace at home.
  3. 4 out of 5

    None Given

    I WAS TRYING TO IMPLEMENT THE STRATEGY BUT STILL MY SON IS RUDE TO US WHEN HE IS IN HIS BAD MOOD.STILL DO NOT KNOW HOW MAKE HIM MORE ACCSEPTING TO THE POLICY OF TRANSFORMATION
  4. 5 out of 5

    From no control to total control over your child

    The Complete Guide to Consequences has really helped me and my Husband with our Grand Daughter who is 11 years old and lives with us. She came from a home that had no rules and was aloud to run a muck all the time. After viewing this how-to video program everything is now changed for the best. This More really helped us as Parents and has really helped our Grand Daughter understand that if you break a rule, there are consequences no matter what.
  5. 5 out of 5

    Awesome Program

    I Have Twin 6 year old Boys. My main struggles with them were constant fighting between them & getting them to bed without 100 excuses to come out. this was a 2 hour battle every night. When I got the program, I made up my menu of consequences, rewards, made chore charts & a chart of house rules & taped More the chore charts to their bedroom doors, the house rules & Reward chart I posted up on the Kitchen wall so the always haved access to them to go over & a goal to work towards. The very 1st day I used this program I was floored. They went right to bed with no problems, no coming out with excuses, nothing. The fighting has drastically slowed up. I only had 1 fight. I gave the 1 twin who started it a consequence, which was just 5 minutes in the corner & the rest of the day no more fights. I cant thank James & his staff enough for creating this program. It has made our home a more calmer, quiter, structured & loving place. Not to mention saving our sanity lol. Thanks so much.
  6. 5 out of 5

    Real Advice for Real Issues

    For those of us with limited time (and honestly that is all parents of teens), this tool is invaluable as it pinpoints some of the common battles between parents. The video program quickly and simply shows why our typical reactions to certain situations don't work, and how by taking a new approach to More our teens we can turn around and resolve the situation. In my home, there is now less shouting and confrontation as my teens know with certainty what the consequences are for certain behaviour. Thanks for restoring the peace.
  7. 5 out of 5

    Great examples

    It was great to see role playing the ineffective way and then again the effective way.It gave good ideas on appropriate consequences.
  8. 4 out of 5

    Game Changer with Consequences

    We were able to implement several items from this DVD after watching it. The role plays were well played, and actually more low key than what we as parents experience. We will be preparing a schedule of consequences to assist us while remembering that the goal is not punishment, but learning. How More can we break the pattern, and change the behavior. The one challenge not addressed is how to deal with a kid who (when you disengage) proceeds to throw things and "act out", slam doors, punch holes in the wall etc. Still working on that one. This by no means takes away from the content of the DVD. Well done.
  9. 4 out of 5

    Helpful!

    Its very easy to get angry when your child doesnt respond how you want them to, but disconnecting from the situation has helped tremendously. Instead of taking things personally when my kids say "but mom I just wanna do this first" I have learned to speak in a way that leaves no question what is expected. More It has helped me use less body language that shows frustration when instructing them to do a task. Thank you so much for this wonderful insight.
  10. 5 out of 5

    Awesome

    This product was amazing. My child was very defiant before and now is more compliant. She has learned to control her agression and is more like a normal child. I learned consistency and lots of helpful ways to deal with my child\\\\\\\'s negative behaviors.
  11. 4 out of 5

    None Given

    My name is Kim L.. I have 4 children 3 boys and 1 girl my 12 year old son has some problems paying attention he has been evaluated at school and they say he need a smaller class setting more one on one time with the teacher ok I saw the ad on tv and I called and received the program and read through More it with my husband and followed what the books and dvd told us what to do and I must admit I see a little change it not only helps with your kids it helps you to change and look at things differently I recommend this program to any parent who are having problems with their children try some of the activities and see how well they work for you and your family.
  12. 5 out of 5

    The Consequences Cd is invaluable!!

    I love this Cd..watched it with my kids too.They found the role plays \"comical\" but I know that they were identifying with them and realizing that \"the jig is up!\" Very helpful and we are seeing changes and improvements with behavior and our ability to deal with situations in a much calmer way.
  13. 4 out of 5

    The Consequences complete guide review

    I have a 16 year old son and since I've purchased the program we have come to realize that the yelling from me doesn't amount to anything and now I can see I've wasted my energy on something that obviously didn't get through to my son. Now we have set boundaries and make sure that he knows that it is More his responsibility to do his school work and chores then after he can go to his friends etc...and if he doesn't come back at a set time we work it out without the need for yelling. It truly made a great change for the whole family. The house is a happier place to be and I feel that we are getting our son back. Thanks
  14. 5 out of 5

    Single Full-time Father of 1 Son

    Awesome James! I REALLY LOVE my son, and this & the entire program brings new meaning to tough Love with a business style I can relate to. IT WORKS FOR US, so folks just add a little smart work, self control & change, and patience. Hang in there, and follow James & his awesome team! Thanks & glad to More give some feedback.
  15. 5 out of 5

    Consequences: Forget doing time. Make it task-oriented for learning.

    I think the majority of parents struggle with understanding the reason for and implementing effective consequences. In The Complete Guide to Consequences, James Lehman offers a clear explanation of just what a consequence is and is not. Understanding the difference between doing time and task-oriented More consequences that offer the opportunity to reflect upon and change negative behaviors is something too few parents understand. James is expert at explaining difficult concepts in simple language, and that is helpful. The role plays illustrate real-life situations parents experience, providing additional reinforcement and understanding. We have watched the video several times, including with our 13-year-old son. It has been quite helpful in aiding how we design and implement consequences, and helping our son understand his behavior and responsibilities.
  16. 5 out of 5

    Trying to Survive three teenage girls

    I have been a parent for 19 years and most of what I do I learned from my parents and my wife. I have done some reading, but nothing specific to consequences. Proper consequences is more important for teenagers than for small kids. I learned a great deal and will immediately implement that knowledge, More skills and practical tips, including the pre-determined consequence list.
  17. 4 out of 5

    Worthwhile information

    After I received the program I opened it right away. I went through all the material and thought wow! I don't know if this will work. After using the program for about a month I started to see changes in my child's behavior and my responses to him. It has helped us alot!
  18. 5 out of 5

    Active Duty Military Families - Must READ!!!!!

    This video and booklet helped my family tremendously!!!!!! I have two boys ages 12 and 13 years old. I am a military wife of an active duty Army solider who is currently deployed and it is not our family\\\'s first deployment. After studying this program and LEARNING BETTER PARENTING SKILLS,I feel that More ALL of us have improved coping skills. The key is to follow thru and defuse the anger before it gets out of control. My boys are not violent,however, they are starting to become a challenge and openly defiant. These solutions work!!!!
  19. 5 out of 5

    Excellent video

    Oh my goodness, this program is the most amazing I have ever seen. "The Complete Guide to Consequences" gave me real life examples of dealing with my child. As I watched I saw myself with my teenage daughter. It is extremely well done and depicting actual life scenarios that happen on a daily basis More at my home. It is a valuable and necessary tool in working with your child.
  20. 5 out of 5

    Training my heart first

    I learned by watching the videos that I need to check how I respond to my child. If I am calm the situation has a great chance of staying calm. If I don\'t yell our conversation has a great chance of our getting our points out in a healthy way. If I don\'t blame there well be less blame shifting. I More am the adult. I am to help my child understand how to live a healthy life. I am not responsible for how they respond but I need to set the best example of how to handle problems in life. The consequence videos taught me the consequences of my response and how to get more of what I need out of my children.
  21. 5 out of 5

    Realistic hints for parenting

    After using the strategies from The Complete Guide to Consequences, my son has been more respectful to me and his dad. He knows that I mean business when he comes to the consequence. I follow through and my husband does the same thing as well. Therefore, my son's attitude changed a lot since then. I More am so glad that I have these tips to help me dealing with my son's talk back - verbal abuse. I hope other parents are able to access this resource and help them to parent effectively.
  22. 5 out of 5

    Consequences Guide Changes Lives

    I ordered the Complete Guide to Consequences because frankly I am terrible at coming up with consequences for my children ages 12 and 15. This just made sense and the role plays really wrapped it up for me. I was able to put myself in the place of the actors. Since completing (I keep it handy)the More Guide to Consequences I have implemented a Family Contract which spells out what is expected and what the possible consequences are for each infraction of the rules. By doing that I am not flying off and just throwing punishments out there. I know what I am going to say and how I am going to deliver the consequence. Now that I do it calmly and quietly--things go much smoother and calmer (99% of the time).
  23. 4 out of 5

    Complete Guide to Consequences

    I thought this DVD was well done. I especially liked James' comments between scenes. It would be helpful for me to see role playing where the child doesn't change behavior during the first corrective exchange. That would mirror my experience and help me refocus and redirect.
  24. 5 out of 5

    Calm down!

    The best part of this DVD were the fact that the effective parenting examples were calm and to the point. They are children and we must be calm so they will see this example. Its not an emotional fight back and forth in our home anymore. My husband and I are now a team and before we were not. Its really More important to be a team and to be calm in dealing with your kids even if they don\\\'t like your rules or ideas. They are children and they don\\\'t know what\\\'s good for them. But underneath their dislike for the rules and structure its really what works best. They need to take on more responsibility and know what is expected in a calm and understanding way. Its a relationship now and we are seeing big changes in our kids. Thank you a million times!
  25. 5 out of 5

    Effective

    I found the Complete Guide to Conseguences very effective. It showed me how to have my mind work and plan a consequuence that is relevant and teaches my child the preferred behaviour. As they learn that I mean what I say they also learn the new behaviour. Conseguently, they acquire problem solving More skills more effectively instead of misbahaving.
  26. 5 out of 5

    My 6 yr old granddaughter is winning this battle!

    I have full custody of my granddaughter,i've been raising her since her birth.I bought this program and I am stll trying to work with her,the role plays I have watched are with teens,I would like to see more for children her age! Don't get me wrong its a very informative program I have no regrets in More buying it,I just haven't hit on the one thing to get her to listen,she hits me and calls me names alot,I have just stated "This is not tolerated",and 'You can have computer time when you have finished with your homework,or after your bath "but when she gets on the computer she agrees at that moment to 15 minutes,but when its up there is such a huge fight.She seems like she is the parent,I just am at my wits end here.Listening to the cd's and trying to apply it to a 6 yr old is confusing to me.Its as if she don't get things her way everyone suffers,mainly me.I do listen daily and have spoke with her about what I was doing and she said she would like to work with me on things.I have searched for the reasons for her behavior,but have no logical reasons,I have to get this under control soon.Thanks so much for your program it is very good.
  27. 5 out of 5

    FINALLY A PEACEFUL HOME!

    What a difference this has made with this approach. I highly recommend this to any parent.
  28. 3 out of 5

    More extended role-plays needed

    The role-plays were helpful as far as they went, showing parents how to avoid useless screaming, and giving them more constructive things to say instead. The problem is that all of them only go as far as they would need to go for a pretty compliant child -- one who would, for example, actually take the More headphones off and hand them to the parent as soon as the parent tells him to. They stop short of showing what to do if a more difficult child simply refuses to do this. So, they don't seem to work for the harder cases.
  29. 5 out of 5

    Easier Discipline

    I got this program for my daughter to use with her 3 boys ages 2, 4, and 7. Even though the role playing was more for teenage children the techniques have worked well with the boys. The oldest and middle ones are very good at trying to continue the argument with whining etc. and the role play techniques More for stopping it work well and we have noticed a major decrease in the attempts. Also knowing ahead of time what the consequence for misbehavior will be makes it much easier to redirect the behavior without the emotional over reaction punishment happening. Also that way we can tell them "you chose to misbehave and this is the consequence. Next time you can choose better but now you have to do whatever the consequence is." We have noticed a big difference in how they respond when asked to do something. This is a great program. I would like to see more age levels added to the role plays that would cover younger children.
  30. 5 out of 5

    Counseling Intern, Marriage and Family Therapy

    The Consequences Video Program is one of the best presentations on the subject that I have come across. As a therapist, I find the advice right on, simple to apply, and practical.
  31. 5 out of 5

    no more yelling by me

    I thought I had to end up yelling to get my point heard above my grandson's yelling. Walking away has saved my voice and my emotions. I still fail sometimes. I want to "win" the argument so that he will see reason. Each time I do this, though, I lose! Winning by silence is so much better. I always More make sure I talk to him LATER to discuss the situation and he is much more compliant then. Thanks so much for this wonderful tool. Barbara
  32. 5 out of 5

    role plays make all the difference

    Watching the role plays made a huge difference for me. It made it easier to see myself applying what I was learn ing, and helped me use what I\'d learned right away without having to practice a lot. Thank you Ohsana
  33. 5 out of 5

    You can't or you won't

    I often hear from parents how they "can't". I seem to always be questioning that position saying "you can't or you won't". This dvd continues to be a good tool as a professional working with parents, for parents to get a reality check on their parenting and holding them accountable, for some, for More the first time. I say "you can and you will"
  34. 5 out of 5

    Life is about consequences

    Until my husband and I started using consequences, we had a hard time getting our son to follow the rules. At first, he was resistant to the process and showed this by saying he didn\\\'t care what we took away, he wasn\\\'t going to comply. Usually within a day he would change his mind and do what More we asked. Expect some acting out until your child gets used to you using consequences to address his/her misbehavior. If a consequence no longer works, pick something else. As kids get older, what matters to them changes and so should the consequences. The hard part for us as parents is to be consistent and mean what we say. Our son is very good at trying to talk us out of a consequence, but it doesn\\\'t work if you don\\\'t follow through. We\\\'ve used consequences to address disrespectful behavior, swearing, not doing school work or chores, and agressive behavior.
  35. 4 out of 5

    Consequences

    I found the DVD to be very helpful. Being able to see the role playing helped to make it a more natural routine with my four children. I especially liked how it encouraged you to not go overboard with the consequences right away. To always make them appropriate and realistic.
  36. 5 out of 5

    Helpful Advice -Great Examples

    For me, James Lehman's advice is extremely helpful and always right on target. Here, the roleplays really give the parents how it would work in their homes with their kids. I find myself replaying it over and over to get every ounce that James has to offer. Excellent addition to the Total Transformation More program. Keep up the great work. My house is a much happier environment these days!
  37. 5 out of 5

    Very Impressed

    MoreAs a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I found this program to be an excellent review of the basic concepts and essential skills in providing effective consequences to children and teens misbehavior. I recommend this program to parents and professionals alike.
  38. 4 out of 5

    Consequences DVD- very helpful

    The Consequences DVD was very helpful in targeting specific behaviors and linking them to appropriate consequences. I would have liked to see more of the "Menu of Consequences" either on the DVD or in the booklet. The best part of the DVD is when James Lehman is explaining how to give your children appropriate More consequences.
  39. 4 out of 5

    A Great Companion to The Total Transformation

    Having worked at the strategies outlined in The Total Transformation Program for the past year and a half, we were looking for more resources in the area of consequences. The role plays were an invaluable resource as they took the information that James outlined in the beginning of the video and showed More them in action in a very 'true to life' household atmosphere and broke down each situation into a learning process. Once again, removing emotion has proven to be our biggest ally and although any program requires a certain amount of 'time in' - our kids are so worth it!
  40. 5 out of 5

    More Effective Discipline

    The Complete Guide to Consequences has helped me chose more appropriate consequenses, using things that matter to my son. The Program helped me to identify those and how to use discipline to teach instead of punish. His father and I had differences of opinion in how to discipline but this program has More helped us communicate better and he has started to approach our son's behavior diffeerently. The biggest thing for him to learn has been to not engage and just walk away. This step alone has reduced much of the shouting and "one up manship". For me it has been to not always rescue my son and let him experience some consequences ( for me to forget what others may think). I watch and reread the programs to help strengthen my committment to help my son take responsibility for his behavior. As we have learned there are choices and the choices one makes has consequences.
  41. 5 out of 5

    Grateful Mom

    The Complete Guide to Consequences is very helpful to set up rules and establish a list of consequences to use when needed. You learn what consequences are and what they should accomplish. Your child will learn accountability and responsibility and help the parent give their child the guidance they More need.
  42. 5 out of 5

    Consequences program

    The role plays in this video series were extremely helpful. The scenes portrayed were realistic and really hit home! This program was very helpful to me in learning to give effective consequences.
  43. 5 out of 5

    So much help

    MoreI felt so alone and like a failure as a mom. I was watching some other kid emerging other than the wonderful boy I thought I had raised. It was such a relief to find these videos. I no longer felt alone and could let go of my feelings of failure. This program is a must for all parents of teens!!!
  44. 5 out of 5

    complete consequences

    Loved it! scary how much I must look like those parents. Like the proper responses, and list in the booklet for ideas. But how do u know when to let the backtalk go?
  45. 4 out of 5

    Really helps to control computer time

    My son has been addicted to the computer for the last couple of years. Trying to get him to do things around the house was really becoming a test. It was always, in a minute, or he would just ignore me. Now I set a computer and cell phone curfew of 9:30. I remind him once it\'s time to shut things down More and if he does not shut things I deduct any time after 9:30 off the following night.And if he does not do chores the computer gets shut down for an hour. I\'ve only been doing this for a week, but he seems to be getting it.Next week I\'ll stop reminding him of the time and still hold him accountable. If things go as well as they have this first week there will be no more daily computer problems.
  46. 5 out of 5

    Useful Practical Advice

    We found the program to be right on point with many of the issues and problems we have faced as parents of two boys. The role-paying hit home, both in terms of seeing our own ineffective parenting techniques and seeing application of the effective parenting techniques. We would recommend the program More for all parents.
  47. 5 out of 5

    A Visual Lesson

    When I viewed The Complete Guide to Consequences by James Lehman I recognized myself immediately in the role play of the parents--and had to laugh at myself! This was a real turning point for me as a parent of three teenagers. I realized that what is really important is to be there for my children More to help them stay within boundaries and keep them moving forward toward success. James has a gift to cut to the heart of the matter and as a high school teacher I\\\'ve partnered with the parent council to bring his video to all the parents and staff in our school community so that they, too, will be able to effectively deal with difficult issues involving their teens.
  48. 5 out of 5

    Every Parent Should Have This Program

    This program is awesome. I believe that everyone who is a parent should watch this - it is so simple and practical that it will truly help make family life so much easier and enjoyable. We were able to implement Dr. Lehmans practical advice and it changed the climate of our home immediately. Don't More just order one for yourself, but get extra copies for your friends and family. I promise it will be one of the best gifts you ever gave them. Thank you so much for helping our family love each other better.
  49. 5 out of 5

    Complete Guide to Consequences

    I found this program to be very helpful. It builds upon the teachings of the Total Transformation program. It is a concise reminder of how to reinforce behavior.
  50. 3 out of 5

    8 kids all with different personalities

    This DVD was somewhat helpful. It taught me to take things away but for a short time. It also taught me to concentrate on the matter/problem not the attitude that the child gives you. I didn\\\\\\\'t like that it doesn\\\\\\\'t teach you how to deal with obnoxious and disrespectful behavior. I have More a son who is 15 and is completely rude. \\\\\\\"Out of Control\\\\\\\". When he talks to me like garbage I take his phone away. But I have to chase him around the house to get it from him cause he won\\\\\\\'t give it up. So what do you do for that. Then he curses me out or punches his siblings. What do you do?
Leave a Review

Product Features:

  • 63-Minute DVD
  • 25-page Workbook

Teach your child to be accountable and responsible.
When parents use consequences effectively, their children can better learn how to be accountable and responsible, how to control their emotions, and how to follow through and succeed. We’ll show you how to get to what works – even if your child is ultra-resistant or has ADD, ADHD or ODD.

Take control, and stay there.

  • Stop getting into it on your child’s level
  • Be consistent with discipline
  • No more accepting excuses
  • Don’t let situations escalate into arguments
  • Stop justifying and defending your actions
  • Master your authority
  • No more giving in and giving up

In this program, you’ll learn:

  • The exact difference between a punishment and a consequence
  • How to effectively use consequences to shape behavior
  • A menu of consequences to use with your child
  • How to help your child learn from consequences
  • When to correct a mistake after a slip up
  • How to motivate your child to behave responsibly

This program works best when used with the behavior management plan of The Total Transformation® Program.

1-on-1 Coaching

When you need guidance through a specific situation, have questions about your program or just need someone to listen when you’re overwhelmed, our professional 1-on-1 Coaches are waiting to help. Each is highly experienced with our range of learning programs, and dedicated to personally motivating and supporting you. Simply call or email and get personalized guidance related to your program. Plus, since 1-on-1 Coaching is an optional service, you can elect to use it as long as you need it.

Our professional staff of 1-on-1 Coaches is here to help guide you through your learning program. Many have experienced parenting challenges firsthand, and offer a fresh and knowledgeable perspective.

Coaching can be added to your order during the checkout process.

Q: I have both The Total Transformation® Program and The Complete Guide to Consequences. Which program should I start with?

A: You are welcome to start with either program you wish. James Lehman addresses effective consequences in both programs. We typically find that it is most effective to start with the Total Transformation Program first, in order to have a solid foundation for applying the techniques described in The Complete Guide to Consequences.

The James Lehman Approach

Drawing from personal experience and 30 years in the field

“I was a kid with behavior problems—about the worst problems you can imagine.” – James LehmanJames Lehman, MSW

James Lehman, who dedicated his life to behaviorally troubled youth, created The Total Transformation®, The Complete Guide to Consequences™, Getting Through To Your Child™, and Two Parents One Plan™, from a place of professional and personal experience. Having had severe behavioral problems himself as a child, he was inspired to focus on behavioral management professionally. Together with his wife, Janet Lehman, he developed an approach to managing children and teens that challenges them to solve their own problems without hiding behind disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior. Empowering Parents now brings this insightful and impactful program directly to homes around the globe.

“Parent the child you have, not the child you wish you had.”

1-on-1 Coaching

Only Empowering Parents offers professional 1-on-1 Coaching to help guide you through our learning programs, answer your questions and listen when you need to talk.

Simply call or email when you are ready for personal, 1-on-1 support and we’ll be there to help you.

Select 1-on-1 Coaching during the checkout process.