The Complete Guide to Consequences™

1 DVD (63 minutes), 25-page Workbook

4.60 out of 5 based on 172 customer ratings
172 customer reviews
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When parents use consequences effectively, their children can better learn how to be accountable and responsible, how to control their emotions, and how to follow through and succeed. We’ll show you how to get to what works – even if your child is ultra-resistant or has ADD, ADHD or ODD.

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$99.00 $79.00

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What Are Parents Saying?

  1. 5 out of 5

    Different but so helpful

    I expected the video to give a list of possible consequences that I would put in a "parental tool belt" to be used as needed. That's not really what it was, but even though it was different from what I expected, it was so helpful. It so clearly explained consequences that I learned what I didn't even More know I needed to learn. Some of the actors were better than others, but it was so helpful to see it played out in real life situations. I've seen that knowing how to plan a consequence really does diffuse my anger and keep me in control. I highly recommend this video!
  2. 5 out of 5

    Complete Guide to Consequenses

    We needed help coming up with consequenses for our 15 year old son with Asperger's Syndrome. The Complete Guide to Consequenses gave us lots of ideas and ways to deal with his behavior without fighting. I would highly recommend it to anyone who needs help getting their children to obey.
  3. 5 out of 5

    Single Mom, no tag team

    I am a single mom of a strong willed nearly 16 year old young man. I home school him because he has Oppositional Defiance Disorder or ODD. Effective consequences are the only way to get through to him. His father is not in his life, so there is no one but me for him to bang up against in his struggle More to grow up to be a respectable, productive citizen. I need all the help I can get, and I think God for Dr. James Lehman, and now, his wife and team. This program is a great tool and reminder of how we need to stand firm with our children. We owe it to them to be the best, most prepared parent that we can be and to send them off with a realistic expectation of what is required of them in this world.
  4. 4 out of 5

    Complete Guide to Consequences

    Viewing the Complete Guide to Consequences was like jump starting in getting a hold of myself to handle conflicts with my teenager. It helped me identify the ineffective ways I had been acting and gave me a chance to think about how to handle the conflict before it happpened.
  5. 4 out of 5

    very good with room to improve

    This is an excellent disc which helps parents understand what not to say and then what is better to say in certain situations with your kid. James Lehman is amazing. My main suggestion for improvement would be to take it to the next level of conversation when the kid fails or refuses to comply with the More well-phrased parental response -- what do you do then? thanks
  6. 5 out of 5

    Help Always Available

    Employing techniques which benefit our entire family gives me confidence in guiding my child, and that drains away tons of stress. Consequently, he feels more confortable with who he is. Positive growth occurs. The really fun part is knowing that at any time I can receive more help by putting in the More DVD to refresh my mind with the instructional material. Repetition is key to the learning process.
  7. 4 out of 5

    Parenting and consequences dealing with twins

    I am a parent of 14 yo twin boys. When I received the materials I had a one of the twins in mind. As I was getting into the program, we experienced a death in the family which resulted in a change in the dominant twin. I was able to apply some of the steps in had reviewed at that point in handling More the emotional impact occurring at the time. When dealing with twins, I\\\'ve learned you need to adjust approaches in handling both members of the duo. The subordinate twin acts out as a result of the competitive nature in which twins exist. So including both individuals in the consequence makes our home run smoother.
  8. 3 out of 5

    Great for teens

    Ok, I have to say that I love Total consequences. I have 5 children and a foster son. However I have allready raised 4 of them sucessfuly and only have two at home now. My 13 year old is great but being the baby he has not learned to take responsibility for his behaviors. So this program was great for More him. He is learning to take responsibility for his actions and I have learned so much about myself as well. Re: My 7 year old foster son.This is the reason I bought the program. He is Emotionaly distrubed, has childhood bypolar, reactive attachment disorder, and Now they think he is ADHD. I was feeling like I was going to have to give a 7 day notice to remove him from my care. I had a large meeting with all his support people. 2 Social workers, therapist, sych Dr, myself, and 2 other people. They said he would put him in a group home and all the success he has had would be gone. So I decided to work with this program. This program has saved him from going into a group home and helped me to develope a unique relationship with a very difficult child. I love him and can see his softer side. We still have alot of work to do together to keep his behaviors under control but I feel great that he didn\'t get lost in the system. The only reasin I gave it a 3 star for the overall raiting is because I need to know how to deal with younger ones with more examples of their behaviors. I do love the program just don\'t think it was designed well for younger behaviors. Well I hope this helps others like me. Terri
  9. 5 out of 5

    Amazing Program!

    As a single mom of 3 young boys, I needed some help and advice on how to implement consequences that will work. After receiving and viewing the Complete Guide to Consequences I put what I had seen into action immediately. Watching the role playing made me realize that allowing myself to yell or take More things personally was not helping the matter at hand. Not to mention it woke me up to how silly I was acting and looking to my children. Now that I respond in more of a business manner, not only am I under better control but it has given me better tips to solving problems between the kids versus just sending them to their room. Since using this program our household has become a much more peaceful place! I am so thankful for the Complete Guide to Consequences.
  10. 5 out of 5

    None Given

    This consequence program is very helpful, because it is a very specific guide to parent to deal with children who are defiaint in different kinds of setting.
  11. 5 out of 5


    As always, James does a great job driving home the key focus for applying meaningful consequences. The role plays clearly demonstrate the importance of keeping emotion and overreaction out of the moment and looking instead toward the desired outcome. This has been a great lesson for my family and I highly More recommend it as a resource for any parent.
  12. 4 out of 5

    The Complete Guide to Consequences is a Great Reference Tool

    I received the Complete Guide to Consequences about a year ago and have viewed it several times. Although the role plays mostly showed older kids, I still found it useful to see the parent's calm, consistent response to a variety of behavior issues. It's just good to see examples of how to handle a situation More when I feel like I am struggling or need a little "pep talk." It is a great companion product for the Total Transformation Program.
  13. 4 out of 5

    None Given

    I am a therapist who purchased the program to help parents with limit testing and oppositional behavior. All the role plays were very helpful.
  14. 5 out of 5


    I found The Complete Guide to Consequences to be very effective. The idea that you are teaching your child an appropriate behavior in the process, rather than just punishing them for the sake of punishing is what has really helped.
  15. 3 out of 5

    Good, but...

    I learned some good basics from viewing the DVD, however, the child we are having issues with just turned 9. The examples of consequences just didn't apply that much, especially because our daughter is not indulged with a lot of electronics and extra privileges--her behavior is too terrible! The role More playing was too bland--our struggles are heated and it would help to see how to remain calm when the child does not--even after 1-2 attempts at calming.
  16. 5 out of 5

    Outstanding! Finally I saw examples in action!

    The role plays is what helped the most! I got what James was saying when I saw how the methods and techniques worked in watching the role plays. So many experts say use natural consequences, or have a consequence ready when this or that happens. But, I did not have a good example or understanding of More what they meant in todays world of text messaging and face book behavior or how to use words in a productive way. This Guide Works! What more can I say!!
  17. 4 out of 5

    It works!

    This program worked for me because it showed me what I was doing wrong. There really is a difference between punishing kids vs. giving them consequences so they'll learn. I'm using this with my teen girls and it's working!
  18. 4 out of 5

    Clear and to the Point

    This DVD was clear, to the point, and very helpful. I especially liked the role plays included. I now see why my consequences weren't working before! I was teaching my son to "do time" instead of teaching him how to change his behavior. Thanks, James for this great insight.
  19. 5 out of 5

    Conseequences that Work

    The role play especially helped because they showed the normal response, which may have been an angry one, and how the consequences worked. Say your piece and let go, don't give in to the argument.
  20. 4 out of 5

    Great info

    We learned a lot from this cd and hope to see more in the future.
  21. 5 out of 5

    Help in a critical area!

    I bought the Complete Guide to Consequences when we were having difficulty agreeing on how to choose and implement consequences for our two children (both difficult, but in VERY different ways). It totally turned our problems around--we are now in agreement, we are MUCH more consistent with the kids More (not perfect yet, but working on it) and the results are clear--we get better behavior and that trend to the good is continuing. This is true even though our kids are a bit younger than the kids in the video. We highly recommend!
  22. 4 out of 5

    None Given

    James Lehman's style is easy to understand. The role plays were so excellent to learn from showing the "ineffective way" and then the "effective way". Keeping calm under pressure is key. Giving consequences that reinforce changing the undesired behavior rather than "punishing" the child was portrayed More well in the role play.
  23. 4 out of 5

    Works to get back on track

    I think the Consequences video was/is helpful. The problem I have is that I keep going back to my old ways which do not work. The video is a good example of how to put the training into practice. It is also helpful to role play what I am currently doing and see where I am falling short. Parenting is More hard but if you do it well with Empowering Parents it brings back the joy. I do not know what I would have done without the videos and CD\'s. I think it is very hard to raise boys in the world today with all the violence on TV and video games.
  24. 5 out of 5

    Empathy before Discipline

    This program in DVD format is simple and to the point.When this program is administered properly by the parent/caregiver, consequences for behavior are much easier to accept. In this program, it is apparent that the child\'s right are respected.
  25. 5 out of 5

    experiential examples excellent

    The role plays really illustrate for parents the points that you are making and help them to really connect to and identify with the material. parents say it's a relief to see that I am not the only person struggling with these issues. They also say it helps them to see that identifying their problem More behavior is not about blaming them but about effective problem solving. They say they want more role plays and so do I!
  26. 5 out of 5


    The Consequence program makes such sense. I have been able to use it in my home as well as in the classroom.
  27. 5 out of 5

    Lead to success in our family

    I want to thank you for Consequences. I was having some problems with my teenage son not doing his homework, etc., which were causing some big arguments and making things more strained between us, as his parents, and him. We were handling things so completely wrong. The entire premise around "responsibilities" More and related consequences really hit home with us and with him. The most amazing thing is that in addition to the improvement we've seen in him, we no longer find ourselves taking it "personally" and yelling and arguing about it. Money well spent in our household. Thank you.
  28. 5 out of 5

    None Given

    Was like looking in a mirror
  29. 5 out of 5

    Mandatory learning

    What an absolutely wonderful program! It should be mandatory for every single parent. I truly believe there would be many more happy families out there if they followed your program. I would encourage you to develop a program for toddlers and younger school age children as I feel parents need help More in this area also, as it can prove to be quite challenging. What a great service you have provided to so many parents. I have read many parenting books, but your no nonsense, effective, and to the point approach puts the rest to shame. You should be very proud Mr. Lehman! Worth every penny.
  30. 5 out of 5


    After watching this my husband and I realized we were going about everything in the wrong way. We have used some of the techniques and it looks like things are getting back on the right track. I recomend this for every parent so matter what age the child is.
  31. 5 out of 5

    review of consequences

    My husband and I found the role playing in Consequences very realistic and very helpful. It was easier to get my husband to sit down with me and watch the dvd about one specific subject than listen to an audio by himself. We were able to talk about its relationship to our situation and also to develope More a plan of action for future problems. \Please do more dvd guides. My husband doesn't take the time for an audio, but I like sitting down together to watch and discuss.
  32. 5 out of 5


    The information was and is helpful to us, even though our children are not yet teenagers.
  33. 4 out of 5

    Great Job

    I have learned so much from being able to watch others in their "struggles" with their children by watching the role plays on this DVD. It is helpful because people can relate to what the actor "parent" did, both incorrectly and correctly. The DVD was very helpful. It has been used in my practice More to help other parents see how they need to change their behaviors towards their children.
  34. 5 out of 5

    Consequences That Do Not Foster Rebellion

    The concepts in this DVD are practical and effective. I've watched families for years and as a Family Life Educator have realized that yelling idle threats, shaming the child, and sighs of disgust, etc. do very little to improve the behavior of children. In fact, many of those things foster rebellion. More I have been mostly involved with families in the church setting. I have watched families, who want so badly for their children to grow up and share their faith, drive their children not only away from the church but also from God with their ways of parenting. This DVD is a great tool in helping parents use effective techniques to bring about beneicial behavior and to bring peace to their home life.
  35. 5 out of 5

    Review from Oklahoma City

    I have found the role plays very helpful, especially for teens. I would also find it helpful if a CD was developed that show role playing for children age 5 to 13.
  36. 3 out of 5

    If Only I Had This when they were younger

    With a 15 and 16 year old, alot of these consequences and role playing ideas should have been started on the boys a lot earlier in our parenting. They really are a good idea and very meaningful, but both of my children are too far down the road for pulling in the reigns and total chaos would result. More The consequences are appropriate and meaningful, but I\'m afraid we\'ve gone too far with letting them get away with too much and they feel they are now in control and beyond having to do any chores, homework,or family responsibilities. Maintaining consistency as a couple is a difficulty and my husband and I are on completely different pages in the childraising department. This leads to frustrations for all. Thank you for your dedication and sound advice and if I could do it all over again, I definitely would. Thanks
  37. 4 out of 5


    This was very helpful. We laughd because all the situations and interactions were so familiar and well done. I do wish you had some dads on represented. All the parents were moms.
  38. 5 out of 5


    I did not see it. I lend it to those in need in the church and they give it back, and they all liked it and said it was helpful.
  39. 5 out of 5


    It's one thing to hear or read effective parenting techniques. It's entirely something else to see it in action. I can't tell you how helpful this was to me. I've watched it a few times and I get something new out of it each time I watch it. Your program gave us new tools and a new outlook. And More the consequences guide is the ultimate tool. I highly recommend this.
  40. 5 out of 5

    None Given

    This video filled the gaps for me. I needed to see other parents [actors or not] using their skills and James makes the "theory" practical. You instantly see where you could make different choices that will be more effective, and James never makes you feel bad for making mistakes. I was happy it was More a DVD so that I could easily go back over the parts that I wanted to review. This was a good addition to the Total Transformation Program but I think it could be useful all on its own. Thanks for helping fill in the holes so we can give consequences that work!
  41. 5 out of 5

    In My Opinion

    I like that the program came with both an instructional handbook as well as a CD ~ they complement each other very well. It's nice to just be able to grab the handbook "on the run" if I'm in a hurry. I found the program was very educational. I use the techniques with my daughters as well as with my More clients.
  42. 5 out of 5

    I loved the Complete Guide to Consequences

    I loved the "Complete Guide to Consequenses. I showed the DVD to several adult family members and they thought that the suggestions and the roll plays were right on. I am the grandmother in this situation; so, I can't get the family with the need for the information to look at it.....I am implementing More the ideas with our grandson. But then, he has always been more compliant when he is in our home. Consistency and upfront rules really do work. Keep up your good work and consel. I'll keep on plugging along, too. Grandma in St. Louis, Missouri
  43. 5 out of 5


    I have piece-mealed the complete Guide to Consequence. I take notes and discuss the relativity with others to come up with my personal solutions. Time is not always available for me to digest the entire program. The value is priceless. Thanks. SK
  44. 4 out of 5


    The role playing made the lesson much more concrete for me and quicker to learn. Thank you so much.
  45. 4 out of 5

    Effective Consequences

    Emotional reactions are not effective consequences and The Complete Guide to Consequences makes that clear. The video shows ineffective methods followed by effective ways such as thinking first and choosing incremental meaningful consequences.
  46. 5 out of 5

    None Given

    The techniques presented are not the normal "pie in the sky" ways to approach unacceptable behaviors. They are more reality-based and provide the opportunity to teach life lessons rather than enablement. We are using the program for training of our direct care staff at the group home as well as with More our foster parents.
  47. 5 out of 5


    We have watched the Guide many times since receiving it to keep refreshing our memory for the moments we need the skills that were shown in the Guide. We love it! And, the skills really work.
  48. 4 out of 5

    Consequences feedback

    I felt that overall this was a great DVD. I was looking for something a little more like a blueprint on how to deal with my child's problems
  49. 5 out of 5

    Very Helpful Video!

    As usual, Mr. Lehman presents effective ways to manage and deal with children exhibiting normal and/or difficult behaviorial problems! Thank you for helping us create a much happier and healthier home environment!
  50. 5 out of 5

    seems too late

    I love the consequences. While I was parenting it seemed I could not come up with consequences fast enough. Now the child has left home and has to live the consequences from real life situations. What I most appreciated is the distinction between grounding and putting in time and the consequences More that lead to learning. I just wished I could have done better or knew how to do better at the time.
Leave a Review

Product Features:

  • 63-Minute DVD
  • 25-page Workbook

Teach your child to be accountable and responsible.
When parents use consequences effectively, their children can better learn how to be accountable and responsible, how to control their emotions, and how to follow through and succeed. We’ll show you how to get to what works – even if your child is ultra-resistant or has ADD, ADHD or ODD.

Take control, and stay there.

  • Stop getting into it on your child’s level
  • Be consistent with discipline
  • No more accepting excuses
  • Don’t let situations escalate into arguments
  • Stop justifying and defending your actions
  • Master your authority
  • No more giving in and giving up

In this program, you’ll learn:

  • The exact difference between a punishment and a consequence
  • How to effectively use consequences to shape behavior
  • A menu of consequences to use with your child
  • How to help your child learn from consequences
  • When to correct a mistake after a slip up
  • How to motivate your child to behave responsibly

This program works best when used with the behavior management plan of The Total Transformation® Program.

1-on-1 Coaching

When you need guidance through a specific situation, have questions about your program or just need someone to listen when you’re overwhelmed, our professional 1-on-1 Coaches are waiting to help. Each is highly experienced with our range of learning programs, and dedicated to personally motivating and supporting you. Simply call or email and get personalized guidance related to your program. Plus, since 1-on-1 Coaching is an optional service, you can elect to use it as long as you need it.

Our professional staff of 1-on-1 Coaches is here to help guide you through your learning program. Many have experienced parenting challenges firsthand, and offer a fresh and knowledgeable perspective.

Coaching can be added to your order during the checkout process.

Q: I have both The Total Transformation® Program and The Complete Guide to Consequences. Which program should I start with?

A: You are welcome to start with either program you wish. James Lehman addresses effective consequences in both programs. We typically find that it is most effective to start with the Total Transformation Program first, in order to have a solid foundation for applying the techniques described in The Complete Guide to Consequences.

The James Lehman Approach

Drawing from personal experience and 30 years in the field

“I was a kid with behavior problems—about the worst problems you can imagine.” – James LehmanJames Lehman, MSW

James Lehman, who dedicated his life to behaviorally troubled youth, created The Total Transformation®, The Complete Guide to Consequences™, Getting Through To Your Child™, and Two Parents One Plan™, from a place of professional and personal experience. Having had severe behavioral problems himself as a child, he was inspired to focus on behavioral management professionally. Together with his wife, Janet Lehman, he developed an approach to managing children and teens that challenges them to solve their own problems without hiding behind disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior. Empowering Parents now brings this insightful and impactful program directly to homes around the globe.

“Parent the child you have, not the child you wish you had.”

1-on-1 Coaching

Only Empowering Parents offers professional 1-on-1 Coaching to help guide you through our learning programs, answer your questions and listen when you need to talk.

Simply call or email when you are ready for personal, 1-on-1 support and we’ll be there to help you.

Select 1-on-1 Coaching during the checkout process.