The Total Transformation®

Jump Start, 7 Audio Lessons (+1 Bonus), Parent's Workshop Video, 116-page Workbook

4.68 out of 5 based on 1470 customer ratings
1488 customer reviews

Most parents struggle with bad behavior, whether it’s disrespect, arguing or severe defiance. But with the right skills and support, you don’t have to struggle anymore. The Total Transformation Program takes you step by step through understanding and managing your child’s behavior and shows you exactly what you need to do to develop your child’s problem solving skills—stopping bad behavior for good.

Order online or call 800-258-4315, 9:00 AM – 5:00 PM (EST)

$327.00 $259.00

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  • Video Testimonials
  • Reviews
  • About
  • Coaching
  • FAQ
ADHD and School Issues

Jo-Ann and Kath were looking for ways to help their son Brennan, who is diagnosed with ADHD and Slow Processing Disorder. They recognized that Brennan is talented, creative, and a natural leader, but his tendency to challenge authority and test limits created serious issues at school and at home.

Angry Outbursts

The Bentley family was looking for answers to help 14-year-old Alex manage her anger differently. Her ADHD made it difficult for her to control her behavior when she got frustrated. Outbursts of anger led to slamming doors and disrespect, which left the family feeling disconnected and discouraged.

Physical Violence & Disrespect

Carolyn Nash saw a big change in her son Theo after she and his father divorced. His disrespect led to outbursts of rage and even physical violence. Carolyn tried everything from grounding to counseling, but nothing seemed to work—until The Total Transformation.


What Are Parents Saying?

  1. 4 out of 5

    great product

    We have been pleased with the product. We have seen a change in our daughter's behavior and improved family life.
  2. 5 out of 5

    None Given

    I found this program to be down to earth and easy to follow. A good common sense package, I have already suggested it to many other parents and we are applying many principals in our own family. A program worth listening too more than once
  3. 5 out of 5

    Informative articles

    School systems being the bureaucracies they are, we have not really had a chance to review all the materials from the program. We were rushed into putting our little boy into a "Managed Attention Program" (also known as Special Ed). It was that or constant suspension from school, ostracism, and humiliation. More Between the daily behavior sheets and home book they send back every day, there is little time to do much more than respond, intervene, etc. The articles in the newsletter are very good, and encouraging. Our son was diagnosed as ADHD. We do not accept this diagnosis or the horrifying solution offered (psychotropics, mood enhancers, anti-depressants). Using the techniques of the TT program, together with the loving assistance of the program he's in, we are seeing wonderful progress. In school, they are employing EXACTLY Mr. Lehman's techniques: consistency, accountability, consequences (and rewards) applied fairly and intelligently. Although we believe our child to be more gifted than he is afflicted, at least he doesn't feel like a freak and can achieve academically.
  4. 5 out of 5

    In Your Face Direct

    I wish I had heard your commercial and ordered your product three years ago. I would have saved so much time, aggravation, and money; and my child would have been on track to a happier self earlier. Your understanding of the issues surrounding the challenges associated with parenting an ADHD child More have cleared the confusion and angst we had been dealing with. Your tools to parent our child are refreshingly straight forward. After listening to only one CD, I was exposed to more information and help than three years of "beating around the bush" therapy. You just come right out and say what needs to be said. You don't tip toe around the issues at hand. You have helped me parent my child with a strong hand which has gained me respect and obedience which had been non-existent in the past. Thank you so much for developing this program. I have recommended it to many of my friends who have had similar challenges.
  5. 5 out of 5

    Very Useful Information

    It's so helpful to understand what's going on when a child is acting out and how to respond appropriately. Being able to respond appropriately using the tools we learned from the Total Transformation eliminated the feelings of helplessness and frustration. We can now parent with a pro-active approach More instead of a reactive approach. We have seen a slow but steady positive change in our daughter since we have been using the Total Transformation.
  6. 4 out of 5

    This is a good product

    This product was helpful in showing me how I was sabotaging my children's progress by my parenting style. I believe that all parents have good intentions (at least I hope so) but, good intentions and bad parenting do not work well together. Thank you so much by helping me to become a better parent. More
  7. 5 out of 5

    Truly Transformational Parenting

    Immediately after listening to the CD's things at home started to shift. The Transformational theories and techniques gave us access to managing a 17 year old in a way that gives us much more peace at home and allows space for our daughter to learn and grow. I wish I had listened to them 16 years ago. More Interesting note, these ideas have helped with my communications day to day with adults ( perhaps we are all fundamentally 6 years old) From the first call to your customer service people to implementing your ideas our total experience with The Total Transformation Program has been remarkable and truly exceed all my expectations - Thank you
  8. 5 out of 5


    I have had nothing short of breakthroughs with my child since using the principles in the Total Transformation. I think the presentation could be better...shorter, more to the point, and more issue oriented so that I could easily review based on the issue I'm having, but that said, it has been wonderful. More
  9. 5 out of 5

    A Blessing

    The content of your material was extremely helpful and useful. It has helped me to be able to take charge of my situation with my teenager and no longer allow her to manipulate me into getting her way. Now only if I can get my husband to listen and learn the same valuable lessons!!
  10. 5 out of 5

    Good, basic information for improving behavior

    Changing behavior is difficult- this program is a great support system for handing difficult behavior and supporting parents.
  11. 5 out of 5

    Schools need this program

    When I started the program with my husand we learned to stick together to stay onboard with what we had to do. Lets just say using the techniques at home my son knows no means no and his behavior depends on his rewards. There's some argueing but I'm sure after time there won't be. It's immperative that More both parents are on the same page and that your CONSISTENT. You are absolutely right, you don't need your conselour is you follow the simple steps. I love the program and wish we had it sooner. Again, schools should have this as a behavior plan for all kids. I can't write enough about this program. NO.1 in the Archambaul's house. Thank you James Lehman for giving us a our respectful son back.
  12. 5 out of 5

    None Given

    I gave the program to my daughter and she likes it a lot. She has a 12 & 9 yr old. I forward the emails to her also. The basics of this program are classic and are tried and true.
  13. 4 out of 5

    Great Tips

    I haven't used the program to the fullest, but what I have used are the little tips and phrases that are so easy to remember in those heated moments.
  14. 5 out of 5

    None Given

    I'm listening to the CDs for a second time now. Good material, I implemented some of the items, now I'm going back for a refresher.
  15. 5 out of 5

    Great Product

    Helps keep me focussed and on track with my kids.
  16. 5 out of 5

    It does help

    The CD's and program make sense and we have had a few changes already. I particularly like the support line, I would not be able to follow through without some type of help.
  17. 4 out of 5

    None Given

    The information in the CDs is right to the point. I would rather listen to the thoughts and ideas of James Lehman than our psychologist. James is "right-on" when he describes children. He knows what he's talking about, even though he's never seen my son. I'm only half-way through the program, and three More of the techniques I've been using that are working are: teaching my son how to problem solve rather than "barking out" orders to him; second, teaching my son to apologize and not only say "sorry", but to say what he's sorry for (take accountability for his actions); and third, learning to "disconnect" (or walk away) from my son so he has no one to "act out" in front of. The changes are little and seem to be infrequent, and it's very frustrating, but there are times when I see a light at the end of the tunnel. The parental support line is excellent; however, I need it most when they are closed: evenings and weekends!
  18. 5 out of 5

    At this point

    I really should not be reviewing the system yet because I have not gone through everything yet. The program seems to be full of common sense and focuses on the real issues. There are also some great and unique insights. James's warning about emtionalism being a substitute (and a poor one) for love More is something I haven't heard before or thought of in just that way. I think it is profound. I know I have often equated my enormous feelings of worry and fear over my children with my great love for them but love does so much more. Love gets in the trenches and the muck and does the hard work of helping a child to learn how to handle his problems in a more constructive. Love doesn't just sit there and feel great emotion about the tragedy of a situation; love roles up its sleeves and does something to help. Sounds like a contemporary version of St. Paul's letter to the Corinthians on love. I think James is giving us the tools to help and to love our children. I think the Support Line is wonderful as I don't always "get it" the first time. The counselor was so helpful and patient; she did not rush me off the phone as if my time were up for the month. I love the emphasis on helping the child learn better problem solving skills. This seems to be the point rather than having a strict system of rewards and set "consequences". Our situation is not unique but it is extreme. We have lots of anger; my children (now two teenage) boys have seen and experienced anger and abuse. They have learned that it gets people to leave you alone or to do what you want. Unlearning this will take time but I do think James has given me tools to help that I had not even thought of before. It is so wonderful to know there's still hope even when your children tower over you and have no hesitancy about the lanquage they use toward you. I am hopeful and I would like to write another review in about six months. Another thing I love is that you don't expect a parent to be superhuman and perfectly consistent. So much advice to parents today depends on these qualities and is doomed to make the parents fail and feel guilty! Thank you for talking to us where we are.
  19. 4 out of 5

    Denise Britt's Review

    I am actually only on CD #5. Wonderful information. I love the way James speaks, like someone who really KNOWS. Refreshing. I believe it is worth the money. I wold recommend it to anyone. I have not used the support line or customer service, hence the 1 star. I'm sure they are fantastic.
  20. 4 out of 5

    Thanks does not say enough.

    My husband and I had been to several counselors, including family counseling with our daughter. She had run away several times, stolen a vehicle from our home, lied, swore at us, spent time in a residential facility, and we still had no sense that we had any control, but that she set her own rules. This More program was the instruction manual we were looking for. We always felt like we walked on egg shells to keep peace in our family, and that we had to lower our standards in order to keep that peace. The program helped us understand that we could not use the tools our parents had used, or even the ones that had worked for our older son. It showed us that we weren't bad parents, and that we weren't alone. The tools made sense, and did not make us feel like we had to have PhD's in child psychology. They were the tools we always wanted to employ, but now we had the confidence that we were doing the right thing. Our daughter recognized the change and the excuses, backtalk, and disrespect stopped. I wish we had done this earlier. The support line is very helpful. Thanks does not say enough.
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Product Features:

CD/DVD Version

  • Jump Start CD
  • Parent’s Workshop DVD
  • 7 Audio Lesson CDs
  • 116-Page Workbook
  • Bonus Audio Lesson CD

Online Version

One year of instant and unlimited access to our online program on desktop, tablet or mobile device.

  • Jump Start Audio Lesson
  • Parents Workshop Video
  • 7 Audio Lessons
  • 116-Page Digital Workbook
  • Bonus Audio Lesson

System Requirements: An Internet connection and your account username and password to log in.


Regain control of your child, your family and your life.

You need help in the moment when you are overwhelmed with defiance and bad behavior. You need tools you can use at home to get your child to solve their own problems without acting out. And you need the fighting, screaming and defiance to stop.

Restore peace and sanity in your home.

  • No more walking on eggshells around your child
  • End frustration and exhaustion from constant arguing
  • Stop pleading and negotiating with your child
  • Feel empowered, not helpless
  • Stop blaming yourself for your child’s behavior
  • No more feeling like a bad parent
  • Replace power struggles with accountability

In this program, you’ll:

  • Get kids to listen, behave and act responsibly at home and at school
  • Learn the 10 words to say when your child talks back
  • Eliminate “acting out” in public
  • Stop the blame game for good
  • Master specific consequences for kids of all age groups
  • Discover exactly what to say and do to stop arguments and get through to your child
  • Understand how to prevent future issues before they start
  • Get your child to cooperate and comply, without raising your voice
  • Learn how to talk so your child will listen and respond appropriately
  • Teach your child problem solving skills
  • Rediscover the joys of being a parent
  • Establish lasting respect between you and your child

1-on-1 Coaching

When you need guidance through a specific situation, have questions about your program or just need someone to listen when you’re overwhelmed, our professional 1-on-1 Coaches are waiting to help. Each is highly experienced with our range of learning programs, and dedicated to personally motivating and supporting you. Simply call or email and get personalized guidance related to your program. Plus, since 1-on-1 Coaching is an optional service, you can elect to use it as long as you need it.

Our professional staff of 1-on-1 Coaches is here to help guide you through your learning program. Many have experienced parenting challenges firsthand, and offer a fresh and knowledgeable perspective.

Coaching can be added to your order during the checkout process.

Q: What is The Total Transformation® Program?

A: Total Transformation takes you step by step through understanding and managing your child’s behavior and shows you exactly what you need to do to develop your child’s problem solving skills—stopping bad behavior for good. The program works well for parents of children from 5 to 18 years of age who are exhibiting anger, underachievement, poor school performance, substance abuse, lashing out (physically or verbally, including abusive behavior), defiance and disrespect, but can be helpful for any child—even adult children. Total Transformation is designed to assist parents in dealing with negative behaviors (both typical and extreme) children and adolescents engage in.

Q: Does The Total Transformation® really work?

A: We think the families who’ve used our learning programs answer this best. In fact, thousands of parents, grandparents, teachers and professionals have shared their positive experiences—with each other, online, and in video testimonials—about the effectiveness of Total Transformation with their children and teens. Created by renowned child therapists James Lehman, MSW and Janet Lehman, MSW, the program is a life-changing tool in helping parents to quickly address unwanted child behaviors. Check out our constantly updated reviews where you can see our customers’ authentic and unedited comments. Our goal is to help you get to what works with your child so you can form a better relationship, starting today.

Q: Can this program work for me if I'm divorced and my ex lets my child(ren) get away with everything at his/her house?

A: Yes. One of the primary goals of Total Transformation is to develop a “Culture of Accountability” between you and your child. You will be able to teach your child to be accountable for his behavior in your home, regardless of the standards of behavior and expectations in the other parent’s home.

Q: Can I return my Empowering Parents product?

A: At Empowering Parents, we strive to help you get to what works. If you are not completely satisfied with your program, we offer a 60-day money back guarantee on all purchases. Simply call us within 60 days from the date you receive your delivery (Order date, plus 7 days) to return the program for a full refund of the purchase price paid (excluding shipping and handling charges, if any). We will provide all return instructions for your purchase. You may be responsible for any return shipping and handling costs.

Q: What happens after I purchase?

A: You will receive your program by mail in an unmarked package to protect your privacy.

Q: What does The Total Transformation® teach, and what types of behaviors are covered?

A: Total Transformation helps parents with specific techniques that enable them to deal with problems such as fighting and arguing, lying, temper tantrums, talking back, destroying property, picking on siblings, bullying, acting sullen and withdrawn, lack of motivation, risky behavior, and behavior problems in school and in the community. It’s important to note that the skill-set honed in the program helps build stronger relationships with all children in the family, not only those who have attitude or behavior problems.

Q: Will The Total Transformation® work for all children?

A: Various factors impact whether the program is effective with a particular child—including the child’s age and developmental level, the child’s environment/background, and the parents’ consistency in applying the program. Acknowledging that, every day we hear from parents, grandparents, teachers and other caregivers who have found success in using Total Transformation. These concerned parents come from all walks of life and from all over the globe. We encourage you to read their authentic and unedited reviews.

Q: My child's behaviors are not as extreme as James Lehman describes. Will this program work for me?

A: The program is designed for children ages 5 to 18 and is very effective for most child behavior problems, ranging from mild to severe. Any parent can benefit from the effective parenting strategies taught in Total Transformation.

Q: Is The Total Transformation® religious-based?

A: Total Transformation does not have any religious affiliation. Parents of all faiths (including those who don’t practice any religion) have used the program successfully with their families while remaining true to their own core values. Our emphasis is on helping all families to change unwanted behaviors in their kids.

Using The Total Transformation® Program

Q: My child has a diagnosis (such as ADD/ADHD, ODD). Will it work for him/her?

A: Yes. Total Transformation can be helpful for children with these conditions, and was in fact born out of James and Janet Lehman’s decades of experience working with defiant, oppositional youth. A good approach for many families is to use the program tools in conjunction with the support of a trusted, qualified, and local professional.

Q: Is there anyone who shouldn't use the program?

A: Children with autism, profound intellectual disabilities, and severe psychiatric disorders that result in an inability to communicate may not benefit from the techniques outlined in Total Transformation. However, their parents may benefit from the parenting concepts taught in the program.

Q: How long will it take to achieve a real change in my child's behavior?

A: Not long at all. In fact, you might see a change in your child’s behavior almost immediately after you begin implementing the program. As they adopt more effective parenting roles, use behavior management techniques, and hone problem-solving skills, most families say they experience significant, lasting results as they work with the program.

Q: Can grandparents use The Total Transformation®?

A: Many, many grandparents use Total Transformation with great results. Some of these grandparents are raising their grandchildren, while others share the program with their grandchildren’s parents. Total Transformation will help you develop a “Culture of Accountability” between you and your grandchild, and teach him or her to be accountable for his/her behavior in your home.

Q: Can The Total Transformation® be used by teachers, educational technicians and counselors?

A: Absolutely. Countless teachers, mental health professionals and caregivers use our program on a daily basis. Every adult who interacts with children in a meaningful way can benefit from the concepts and practical ideas presented in Total Transformation.

Q: Is The Total Transformation® the same as therapy?

A: Total Transformation is not therapy. Where therapy is usually child-centric, our program is parent-centric. Total Transformation addresses how a parent can change the behavior dynamic by learning effective parenting skills.

Q: Should I use The Total Transformation® instead of counseling and/or stop my child's therapy, counseling, medication, etc.?

A: Total Transformation is not intended to take the place of professional therapy, counseling or medical treatment. Parents of children who are currently under the supervision of a professional should not discontinue care without speaking to this professional. This program is not intended as a substitute for medication, and you should never discontinue a child’s medication without consulting a qualified professional.

Q: What is the age range for which The Total Transformation® is designed to be used?

A: Total Transformation is a valuable resource for parents of children of any age, because it provides guidelines to help you develop the most effective and productive parenting style for any given situation. Although it is recommended for children ages 5 to 18, you may see immediate results with children of any age. By the time a “typical” child reaches the age of 5, all of the concepts in Total Transformation would apply to him or her. As your child grows, you’ll see the added benefit of the advanced features of the program. Each child is different and only you can know for sure what is right for yours.

Q: Does The Total Transformation® work with children with medical diagnoses?

A: James and Janet Lehman designed Total Transformation as a powerful tool for parents—a tool that also supports behavior therapy goals at home. The best way to see if the program will be helpful in your specific situation is to try the program in your home, along with the support and guidance of your mental health and medical treatment professionals. Various factors may affect whether the techniques are effective with a particular child, including the child’s age and developmental level, the child’s setting/environment, and the parent’s skill in applying the techniques.

Note: Total Transformation is not designed to deal with children who have severe psychological disorders or medical conditions that impair their communications or problem solving skills. Children who exhibit signs of dangerous behavior, either to themselves or others, should be placed under the care of a qualified professional. Total Transformation is not intended to take the place of professional therapy, counseling or medical treatment. Parents of children who are currently under the supervision of a professional should not discontinue such care without speaking to this professional. This program is not intended as a substitute for medication. You should never discontinue a child’s medication without consulting a qualified professional.

Q: How can I get in touch with James Lehman?

A: Unfortunately, James Lehman passed away in May of 2010 after a long illness. His legacy lives on in The Total Transformation® family of products for parents, and on Empowering Parents, where you can still read his articles. His wife, child behavior therapist and co-creator of the program, Janet Lehman, MSW, continues James’ work to teach the principles of The Total Transformation® Program to families, and in her popular articles on Empowering Parents.

Cost & What’s Included in The Total Transformation® Program

Q: How much does The Total Transformation® cost?

A: Total Transformation retails at $327. Our goal is to make it accessible and affordable for any family in need of an effective program that can be practiced in the privacy of their home, so we provide unique incentives and promotions periodically.

If you would like to place an order or have further questions, please call Customer Service at 1-800-258-4315, Monday through Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. EST.

Q: Do you ship internationally?

A: We do ship internationally. Total Transformation cost is $327 plus $25 for shipping and processing. All prices quoted are in U.S. currency. Upon receipt of the order, we will bill $352 to the credit card provided and will then ship the entire program to you. We do ask that you allow up to 30 days for the shipment to arrive. We also ask that you please contact us once your package arrives to confirm receipt. If you have any questions or would like to place an order, please call Customer Service at 011-207-856-5600, Monday through Friday, 9:00am to 5:00pm EST.

Q: What comes with The Total Transformation®?

A: The following items are included in The Total Transformation® Program:

  •  The Jump Start Audio Lesson (CD)
  •  7 Audio Lessons (on 7 CDs)
  •  Bonus Audio – The One Minute Transformation (CD)
  •  Parenting Seminar Video (DVD)
  •  118-page Workbook
Each lesson in the workbook is broken down into three sections: a pre-test, with objectives and materials to go along with the audio lesson; specific “action steps,” a section on what to expect when implementing the lesson; and finally, a note from James Lehman, using real-life examples to illustrate how the specific technique has helped parents and children in similar situations.
The workbook will take you step-by-step through each lesson. There is also space for you to write your plans, reminders to keep you on track, and even reminder cards. These reminder cards are for you to tear out and use throughout your day to keep you focused on exactly what to say and do—and how to say and do it.

The James Lehman Approach

Drawing from personal experience and 30 years in the field

“I was a kid with behavior problems—about the worst problems you can imagine.”  James LehmanJames Lehman, MSW

James Lehman, who dedicated his life to behaviorally troubled youth, created The Total Transformation®, The Complete Guide to Consequences™, Getting Through To Your Child™, and Two Parents One Plan™, from a place of professional and personal experience. Having had severe behavioral problems himself as a child, he was inspired to focus on behavioral management professionally. Together with his wife, Janet Lehman, he developed an approach to managing children and teens that challenges them to solve their own problems without hiding behind disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior. Empowering Parents now brings this insightful and impactful program directly to homes around the globe.

“Parent the child you have, not the child you wish you had.”

1-on-1 Coaching

Only Empowering Parents offers professional 1-on-1 Coaching to help guide you through our learning programs, answer your questions and listen when you need to talk.

Simply call or email when you are ready for personal, 1-on-1 support and we’ll be there to help you.

Select 1-on-1 Coaching during the checkout process.