Bullying is really just another form of abuse: it’s about kids using power to control other kids, sometimes with the intention to cause harm. What can we do as parents when our kids find themselves the target of another child's cruelty or physical aggression? Read on to learn 10 ways you can help your child or teen.

As we all know too well, name–calling, cruel taunts, cyberbullying and physical bullying happen every day to kids across the country. When your child is being bullied, it’s hard to concentrate on anything else—all you want to do is make it stop immediately. Janet Lehman, MSW explains what you can do to help your child—and what could hurt them in the long run.

Why do some kids turn to bullying? The answer is simple: it solves their social problems. After all, it’s easier to bully somebody than to work things out, manage your emotions, and learn to solve problems. Bullying is the proverbial “easy way out,” and sadly, some kids take it.

I recently gave a talk about bullying to a group of parents in my city. Afterward, a nervous-looking dad approached the front of the room to ask me a question. “My daughter is a good kid,” he said, adding that she was just ten years old. “Her friend made this announcement at school last Friday – I think it might even have been a joke at first–she said that nobody should talk to a certain boy in their class. My daughter thought that was stupid, so she walked up to the boy and said ‘Hi’ and talked to him anyway.” The father sighed before continuing. “I was really proud of her…”
But the next day when his daughter came home from school, she was crushed. “She told me that because she had ‘broken the rule’ and spoken to the boy who was being ignored, none of her friends would talk to her.”

In this age of MySpace, cell phones and instant messaging, it has never been more important to ensure that you are a part of your daughter’s life: the real and the virtual. It is no surprise that girls are enamored with social communications as a way to make connections and keep in touch. By the time they are ten or eleven, they may be developing their own websites, and creating fun emoticons, avatars, and colorful texts for their emails.

Empowering Parents asked bullying expert and award-winning author Peggy Moss to address issues of girl violence and bullying, noting, “Even if the press perhaps sensationalizes certain events, how do we address these bullying episodes in order keep our children safe?”

Are name-calling and teasing just part of growing up, a rite of passage that all kids go through? Many people out there think that adults are making too much of a fuss about it, that we should leave kids to their own devices. We know better now,” argues Peggy. “I have talked to 80-year-olds who remember the name of the person who tormented them in school, and the name of the child who stood up for them in first grade. This is pain that has lasted a lifetime. We have the information to stop bullying now, so why wouldn’t we?”

Last month, we invited readers to email us with their “Number One Concern” for their child in the upcoming school year. Our Parental Support Line staff responded to each inquiry with suggestions based on the Total Transformation and Total Focus Programs. Read on to see what you can do to help you and your child get through the school year with flying colors.

The public perception of bullying is that bullies are acting out to cover their own fears. They may indeed be afraid, but accepting this as a reason makes bullies sound like victims of their fears -- like we’re supposed to feel sorry for them and not hold them responsible for their abusive actions.