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Parenting Articles for Divorced Parents

Parenting your child after a divorce is not easy. Do you and your ex parent differently? Or perhaps your has become more withdrawn—or is acting out more—since you and your ex split. Advice for divorced parents from Empowering Parents.
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Is Your Child Responsible Enough to be Home Alone? Dos and Don'ts for Parents

Is Your Child Responsible Enough to be Home Alone? Dos and Don'ts for Parents

Many parents are at a loss for what to do with their older children during the summer months – they may get the summer off, but you probably don’t. That leaves a whole chunk of time to fill each day. How do you know if your child is responsible enough to be left home alone? What if you know he isn’t, but he won’t stop begging to be in charge of his own schedule this summer?

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5 of the Hardest Things Parents Face: How to Handle the Most Challenging Parenting Issues

5 of the Hardest Things Parents Face: How to Handle the Most Challenging Parenting Issues

Watching my child struggle without stepping in to “fix” things for him was one of the hardest things I’ve personally experienced as a mom, even though I knew it was the best thing for him. And the truth is, from the very beginning, being a mother is a balance of taking care of your kids while letting them grow up and learn from their mistakes. Your role of simply loving and protecting your baby from pain and discomfort changes to one of accepting that your child or teen will need to experience natural consequences for his or her actions. The hard part (for them and for us!) is that these consequences almost always include some discomfort, disappointment or pain.

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Positive Parenting: 5 Rules to Help You Deal with Negative Child Behavior More Positively

Positive Parenting: 5 Rules to Help You Deal with Negative Child Behavior More Positively

Do your kids drive you crazy? If you were asked to describe them, after saying, He's a good kid, but... would you use words like “defiant,” “whiny,” “unmotivated,” “disrespectful,” “angry,” or “demanding,” with a few positives sprinkled in? If the negatives loom larger in your mind than the positives, the first thing to realize is that this is natural. We parents are human after all, which means we tend to look for what’s wrong with our offspring so that we can focus on what we should “fix” in them. Somehow this calms us down; we believe we are improving their chances of long-term survival in an often difficult world.

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Perfect Parents Don’t Exist: Forgive Yourself For These 6 Parenting Mistakes

Perfect Parents Dont Exist: Forgive Yourself For These 6 Parenting Mistakes

Guilt and parenthood just seem to go together. Maybe you lost control and screamed at your child today, or perhaps you’re struggling to give your kids enough—or you might be worrying that you’re doing too much. Whatever the cause, most parents experience guilt regularly. I’ve talked with so many people who were beating themselves up over something they’d done, sure they’d failed as a parent. But as James Lehman said, “It’s not about blame or fault; it’s about taking responsibility.”

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The Single Parent Juggling Act: 5 Tips to Help You Manage

The Single Parent Juggling Act: 5 Tips to Help You Manage

There’s a famous quote about Ginger Rogers that says, “She did everything that Fred Astaire did, only backwards.” In some ways, being a single parent is similar, except you’re doing everything other parents do, onlysolo.

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Parenting After Divorce: 9 Ways to Parent on Your Own Terms

Parenting After Divorce: 9 Ways to Parent on Your Own Terms

Whether you are recently divorced or have been for some time, don’t be anxious that you have ruined your child’s life. You haven’t. While divorce can be a big part of your child’s life, what will determine his ultimate quality of life is still in the hands of each parent. Can children be affected negatively by their parent’s divorce? Most certainly. But it’s important to understand that children are not necessarily doomed to be negatively impacted.

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The Do's and Don'ts of Divorce for Parents

The Do's and Don'ts of Divorce for Parents

Divorce is a very complex occurrence that takes place within the family. This article will not attempt to cover all of the many nuances and intricacies involved in dealing with children who are experiencing a divorce. There are therapists who deal specifically with divorces as well as many books written on the effects of divorce on children and on parents. Many towns have programs committed to working with children of divorced families, which can be very effective at helping kids come to terms with what’s going on. All of these options should be considered.I hope this article will offer some useful ideas, but I want to stress the fact that it is not meant as a substitute for a broader understanding of divorce and its effect on parents and children.

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The Disneyland Daddy

The Disneyland Daddy

Mike doesn’t have effective parenting skills and tries to make up for it with deep pockets. He’s also perfectly happy that the kids go back to their mother’s and act out because it’s gratifying for him.

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My Divorce and My Children

Blogger Divorce is something that happens between two adults, not unlike marriage.  It is the formal dissolution of a relationship that, for whatever reason, did not work out.  It is not, however, permission to talk negatively about your children’s other parent or their families, as the case may be. The death of a child puts enormous strain on a marriage; when our teenage daughter passed away in 2004, it was the final blow to my and my husband’s tenuous relationship.  We had been together for about twenty-four years at that point and, like most relationships, we had weathered a few storms.  The details of those storms were only for us to know, not our children.  It was not their fault that the relationship was ending; it was a series of circumstances. When we decided the relationship was done, I had no idea how to talk to my teens: what to say, what not to say.  So, initially, I said nothing.  The boys were 13 and 15, and our family was dysfunctional.  As for me, I was attempting to recover from my accident injuries and the death of our child.  Overall, it was not a great place to be. I knew that at some point I would have to have the conversation with my sons about what happened and why, after all those years, we divorced.  So I began to research and read everything I could get my hands on. Then, when the questions came, I was ready.  I knew that they did not need details; those would remain private.  I told them the truth: we fell out of love with each other, but truly loved both of them. I firmly believe that it is part of my job as a mother to be a positive role model for my boys while allowing them to form their own opinion of others.  I have never told my sons mean-spirited things about my ex-husband or his family. After all, these are still people in their lives. So I continue to speak positively, and if I have nothing nice to say, I remain silent. One of the most important conversations I have had with my boys was when I told them that I do not hate their father.  He gave me the two of them, along with some amazing memories from our marriage. For that, I will always be grateful.  It is important for my sons to know that they do not have to choose a parent to align with; this is not a war, it is life. One thing I wish I had done better was to help them navigate the new relationship between me and their dad after the divorce.  Instead, they tried to create the relationship on their own.  It was only years later that I realized that they did not have the skills to do this.  So after years of no contact with my ex, I tapped out a text message to him and talked to him about his sons.  The look of surprise on both my boys’ faces made it all worthwhile. They knew then that I would support their relationship with their father — and that I would do anything I could to strengthen it. Even though my sons are both in their twenties now, they know I am always available to offer guidance in any situation (even if it involves their dad), and that is a great feeling! Sandra Steiner is a published Inspirational author, blogger (www.steiner-style.com) and grandparent.  Sandra writes to encourage and inspire those around her to live life to its fullest.  She lives on beautiful Vancouver Island in Victoria, BC with her husband and fur babies.
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Single Parenting in December: Keep it in Perspective

Blogger 'Tis the season, as they say; and for many parents, it’s a tough season. The month of December is a Pandora’s Box of expectations, demands, and pressure. You have the average month’s worth of usual stuff—work, laundry, keeping everyone healthy, basketball practices—then throw in the prep, planning and execution of the holidays. Makes you want to pull the covers back over your head, doesn’t it?
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Invite Gratitude into Your Life Every Day

Blogger I love November; a month filled with reminders to be thankful. It’s such a simple concept, yet we always need reminders to be grateful for what we have.  As many single parents know, me included, it’s so easy to get caught up in the mantra of wanting MORE. We want MORE money because we’re exhausted from stretching that paycheck until it screams. We want MORE breaks in life because, quite honestly, sometimes just surviving the day wipes us out. We want MORE opportunities for our kids because we feel that living in a single-parent home puts them at a disadvantage. And we want MORE love in our lives because, dang it, it feels good; sometimes I feel like I can go three days just on a heartfelt compliment!
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Accepting the Gift of Help

Blogger When you’re raising kids on your own, you are a downright super hero. Making sure everyone gets to where they need to be, with all of their equipment and paperwork and lunches and gym shoes, is absolutely a Herculean effort. Even an average Tuesday can rock the socks right off of you at times.
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You Can Make Time for Yourself

Blogger I am the type of person that wants it all, and I want it all NOW. This mentality makes me feel like I’m perpetually chasing a bus I cannot catch, no matter how fast I sprint.  Some days, it feels like an enormous task to just get everyone fed and into bed at the end of the day!
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Does My Child Need To See A Therapist?

Blogger Your seven-year-old son, Justin, is so embarrassing.  He approaches adults and asks personal questions that seem inappropriate.  He seems to have no sense of shame, and little interest in conforming to social norms.  You cringe at the thought of taking him to family affairs and public events, where you never know what kind of catastrophe might transpire.  And when you broach the topic, he easily dismisses it and hardly makes eye contact.  You have already heard dubious murmurs regarding your parenting capabilities on several occasions, causing you to feel completely misunderstood.  All this despite the parenting lectures you invested in!
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