Has your child crossed the line from acting-out to abusive and violent behavior? When a child or teen starts using intimidation, violence and aggression to solve problems, it’s normal to feel frightened, angry, isolated, ashamed, and/or disbelief that it is even happening. As we frequently remind parents, there is no excuse for abuse. Even if your child has a diagnosis, or is going through a tough time, this type of behavior is never acceptable. If violent and aggressive behavior is happening in your home, it's important to learn effective strategies to keep everyone safe, help your child learn more appropriate means of solving problems, and hold your child accountable for the choice to become abusive. The articles below provide information to assist you in dealing with abusive, violent and aggressive behavior in children.
If you are the target of parental abuse, you’re probably living in fear every day of what your teen will do next, always waiting for what will set off a volcanic eruption. Parental abuse occurs when a child — usually a teenager but sometimes a pre-teen — engages in behavior that is abusive toward a... Read more »
There are times when your authority as a parent just isn’t enough. There are times that you may need to call the police on your child. If your child's behavior has escalated to the point of physical abuse, assault, and destruction of property, or if he is engaging in risky or dangerous behavior outside the home,... Read more »
This week, my 13-year-old son's verbal abuse turned physical for the first time. Needless to say, the incident really shook me up, and I ended up phoning the Coaches of the Total Transformation Program for help. Here’s what happened: My son refused to eat leftovers at home the other night. He wanted to go out for a... Read more »
Punching holes in the wall. Breaking and throwing things. Smashing your car's windshield. Most of us never expect to face these behaviors from our children, but it happens all too often with defiant children and teens. We see many kids who purposely destroy family property out of anger or for spiteful, vengeful reasons. And when it... Read more »
If your child doesn’t want to go to school, resists getting dressed, has behavior problems in school and at home, and is threatening you and being verbally abusive, know that his whole level of functioning is off. Being abusive to his siblings or to you is only one piece of it. Before we discuss ways to... Read more »
If your child is acting out physically by abusing you or other family members, destroying property, or threatening others, then you may want to consider talking proactively with the police. This step to work collaboratively with the police before you actually need them can save you a great deal of grief down the road. We... Read more »
Verbal abuse and intimidation by children and teens isn’t just a phase that goes away—it doesn’t just happen. It often has deep roots that begin very early in a child’s development. And it often begins as a way for kids to try to get power through controlling their parents. In this article, I’m going to... Read more »
When children and teens use violence to get what they want—whether it’s punching a parent, a sibling, or a hole in the wall—it usually involves a situation where they’re being told “no” to something they want to do. Or, similarly, they’re being told they have to do something they don’t want to do. In both cases,... Read more »
Do violent video games have an effect on childhood development? Virginia Tech Shooter Cho Seung-Hui was said to be an avid player of Counter-Strike, a popular team-based shooting game. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris were fans of Doom and Wolfenstein 3D, referring to the games in the videos they left for police to find after the... Read more »
Recently, there have been several stories in the news about violence in children and what can—and should—be done about it. A five-year-old boy was taken out of his Kindergarten class in handcuffs in Indiana, and the same thing happened to a six-year-old girl in Louisiana. Talk shows and the news media have been hosting shows on... Read more »
