Many parents today are faced with a dilemma: How do I support my adult child in becoming independent? Do I let my adult child live in my home while he or she struggles to find a job? These parents think, “The economy is bad…maybe there really are no jobs out there. Should I continue paying for things like my child’s vehicle, insurance, clothes and cell phone? Maybe I should move him into an apartment just to get him out and pay the first few months’ rent, but after that it’s up to him. Or do I just kick him out of the nest and hope he learns to fly?” Kim Abraham and Marney Studaker-Cordner understand and have helped countless families in this situation. In their popular series on adult children in Empowering Parents, readers have learned why so many adult kids still live at home, and how adult children work “the parent system.” In Part 3, you’ll hear six specific steps that will help your adult child leave the nest.

If you, like many parents, have an adult child living at home with you, you’re not alone. There’s an epidemic of young adults in our society who are struggling to find their way. In Failure to Launch Part 2, Kim Abraham and Marney Studaker-Cordner explain why some adult children choose to stay home instead of launching into the world.

Are you one of the millions of frustrated, exhausted parents whose adult child is still living at home with you? Like many in this situation, you might be feeling resentful that your adult son seems to think he’s entitled to meals, laundry and gas money when he does nothing but sleep and party. Or you get frustrated and angry when your 20+ daughter doesn’t pitch in around the house—or even take time to thank you for what you’re doing for her. When your kids were little, you probably expected and accepted the fact that they’d move out one day. So why does your child seem incapable of moving out on their own, and how do you handle it when they don’t? Before we can figure out what to do about adult kids who can’t launch, we have to look at why it’s happening to an entire generation of kids in the first place.

In Part 1 of “Adult Child Living at Home?” Debbie Pincus talked about the things you can—and can’t—control when your older kids move home—or when they’ve never left. In Part 2 of this hands-on series, Debbie advises parents on what to do before your child moves home, and how to handle it when the living situation isn’t working out.

More and more adult kids are coming back home—or never leaving in the first place. In fact, if you are in this situation, you are not alone. A recent study says that nearly 53 percent of 18–to 24–year–olds in the U.S. reside with their parents. In this two–part series by Debbie Pincus, find out how you can manage your adult children at home effectively—and how you’ll know when it’s time for them to leave.

This is the third and final installment in a three part series of articles by James Lehman, MSW.

For those parents who haven’t set up a structured agreement when their child turns 18, it’s never too late to set one up. Even if your child is 23, living under your roof and staying out until the wee hours, it’s never too late to sit down with that kid and say, “We’re going to have to have a talk about our rules here and what parts fit you and what parts don’t fit you.” If a kid is 23 years old and he’s not working, he can’t be up until two o’clock in the morning with friends in the house, keeping other people awake. You may feel obligated to provide that child with a roof over his head. But you have the right to let him know that “This is not your home for that anymore. We’re going to bed, we’re tired, we worked all day. If you’re going to live here, you have to live within our rules.” If he tries to put you down for it, you need to put your foot down. If that means taking the car keys, then that’s what it means.

There has been overwhelming response and interest in last month’s article on adult children. It was viewed over 10,000 times, was our second most emailed article ever, and has received the most reader comments of any article we’ve ever published. I must say I’m not surprised about this, since in my private practice I dealt with many parents who had terrible problems with children who were over 18 and still living at home. I believe this phenomenon has become a national problem. As the cost of living goes up, adult children who are not really prepared for the workforce have to make some sacrifices. Unfortunately today, kids don’t like making sacrifices and parents don’t want to enforce sacrifices.

Do you have a child between the ages of 17 and 23 living with you? If you’re in constant conflict with an older child over everything from curfews (should they have one or shouldn’t they?) to getting a job to alcohol use, James Lehman offers advice on how to set reasonable limits, and how to coach your child to responsibility and independence. (Part 1 of a3 part series.)

• A co-worker tells his boss that the young man sitting out in the lobby waiting for an interview has brought his mother along and wants her to go on the tour of the facility.