Parenting Articles about Disrespect
Is your child or teen disrespectful? Are you tired of the backtalk and bad attitude? Empowering Parents tells you how to deal with disrespect in your home.
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A recent viral video of a group of pre—teen kids bullying and berating an elderly bus monitor showed us just how pervasive it is in society for children and teens to be rude and disrespectful to adults. Sadly, this kind of behavior from kids is everywhere, and it only seems to be getting worse.
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Do you have a “good” kid who’s starting to act out? All of a sudden, he’s pushing your buttons, failing to comply with rules and his bad attitude has soared through the roof. You start to wonder what happened to your child—and where you went wrong. Your parenting hasn’t changed, so what’s going on? What’s behind these changes in your kid—and more importantly, how can parents adjust and deal with them effectively? |
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Editor’s note: At the beginning of the year, we asked you, our readers, to send us real questions specific to your family’s situation. Our first article inour newseries, Real Questions from Real Parents, deals with something most parents can relate to: backtalk, name-calling and disrespect. All questions are answered by a member of our Parental Support Line team; each one a professional who specializes in coaching parents on techniques from The Total Transformation Program. |
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If you’ve heard yourself saying things like, “What’s the matter with you? Why are doing this to me?” or “You’re making me crazy,” you’re probably taking your child’s behavior personally. And when you fall into that trap, you begin to assume the worst of your child. In other words, you start to believe he has malicious intentions when he disobeys you, even when he doesn’t.
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“I was just kidding! Can’t you take a joke?” If your child gives you this excuse after he’s said or done something rude, it might leave you feeling frustrated and unsure of how to handle the situation. Later, you might question yourself when he says, “But I didn’t mean it that way.” In this article, James Lehman explains why disrespect and inappropriate behavior are really nothing to laugh at—no matter what the excuse. |
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Are you tired of disrespectful talk from your kids? Do your children respond with eye-rolling and sarcasm to everything you say? Most—if not all—kids go through phases when they are sassy, mouthy, or disrespectful. As a parent, it’s hard to know when to let it slide—and when to address the problem. James Lehman explains where to draw the line—and tells you how you can manage sassy talk in your home. |
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As a parent, how do you know for sure if your child’s behavior has crossed the line and become truly disrespectful? I believe the distinction between mild rebelliousness and disrespect has to be drawn very clearly. Here’s how you determine whether or not your child has gone too far. When he is being rude or complaining that something isn’t fair, ask yourself, “Is my child expressing general frustration about the injustices or challenges of life, or is he being deliberately hurtful, condescending or abusive?” |
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This is part 2 of a two-part series by James Lehman, MSW on Blended Families. In this article, James discusses the importance of respectful behavior in a blended family, and how parents can achieve this from all the children in the family. |
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Some kids make a game of teasing their parents. There are two contexts in which kids can mock, imitate or laugh. One is in the family setting of teasing each other. It happens all the time and it’s perfectly acceptable. But you should have boundaries about how much your kids can tease or mock you. The problem arises when kids tease or laugh at you in order to be disrespectful or rude, and to undermine your authority. |
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A new video posted to Youtube on February 7 by in irate father who was tired of his daughter's sense of entitlement and disrespect has garnered more than a million and a half hits in just a few days. The video shows Tommy Jordan of North Carolina reading a status update his 15-year-old daughter Hannah recently posted on her Facebook wall. In the update, called Dear Parents, she says, I'm not your damned slave. Next time you want a cup of coffee, get it yourself. She also goes on to say that she should be paid for the chores she does around the house, and that she won't be there to wipe her parents' behinds when they're old and infirm.
Enough to make any parent crazy, but her dad's response is what has gotten everyone talking.
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There is no excuse for abuse. This is an important lesson in The Total Transformation, and one of the first things I put into law in my own home, once I began utilizing the tools and techniques taught by James Lehman. But what do you do when the same choices are not made in your friend’s home -- or in the home of your children's friends?
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“What? I was kidding.”
I get this response when I ask my son to stop whatever inappropriate verbal or physical behavior he is doing at that moment. I pause, tilt my head, and think, “Really?” His behavior is anything but laughable. It's usually disrespectful, scary, and sometimes dangerous. And I'm getting tired of my kid kidding around.
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As a former middle school teacher, I have spent hours in the classroom. Those hours have all been leading the class. I have taught fourth, fifth, and sixth grade. I have substituted for seventh and eighth grades. I love this middle school age group of eleven-to-thirteen. (As a teacher, I mean. As a parent, I find working with my own boys much more challenging!) |
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Parents frequently call me on the Parental Support Line to discuss respect. Some will say, The ONLY thing I ask from my child is that they respect me. They reason that if they are respected, their child will do everything they are asked to do, will not say anything impolite, and will be motivated by positive feelings toward their parent. These are terrific goals, but I’ve started to ask people not to even use the word respect when they talk to their children about their behavior, and I'll explain why.
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