Parenting Articles about Effective Parenting

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Is This Parenting Phrase Effective? “Because I Said So.”

Is This Parenting Phrase Effective? Because I Said So.

“Because I said so!” What parent hasn’t said these words to their child in a moment of sheer exasperation? What you’re really saying is that you are the one in charge and you want the discussion to end. Of course, sometimes ending it abruptly is appropriate and sometimes it’s not. When this phrase is used in an offhand or sarcastic way, or in response to an initial question from your child, it’s much too abrupt. But despite what some people think, “Because I said so” is not necessarily a negative phrase—it all depends on when and how it is said.

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Does Your Child Say This? “Leave Me Alone!”

Does Your Child Say This? Leave Me Alone!

Children can be adept at shutting down, and shutting you out—leaving you with unanswered questions and a whole lot of frustration. If you find your child is shutting down every conversation with “Leave me alone!” or “It’s none of your business!”, here are some ways you can handle their response—and make sure the issue at hand gets addressed in the appropriate way without getting into a power struggle.

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Gut Check: Shame and Anger: The Emotional Handcuffs of Parenting

Gut Check: Shame and Anger: The Emotional Handcuffs of Parenting

One of the unaddressed elements of children’s behavior is the pain that families go through, knowing that others are judging them. Because the fact is, they are being judged. When parents have to go to school constantly because of their kid’s outbursts, when they get in conflicts with the neighbors because of the kid’s behavior, when they’re at the supermarket and the kid throws a temper tantrum, or they’re at the mall with their adolescent child and he raises his voice or gives his parents backtalk, it’s completely humiliating.

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The Ripple Effect of Defiant Behavior: When Parents Pay the Price

The Ripple Effect of Defiant Behavior: When Parents Pay the Price

James Lehman, creator of The Total Transformation Program, examines the effects of acting out behavior on parents and the family, and reveals how to calm the storm in the home.

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Losing Your Temper with Your Child? 8 Steps to Help You Stay in Control

Losing Your Temper with Your Child? 8 Steps to Help You Stay in Control

Do you ever struggle with temper tantrums at your house? You know what they involve: yelling, screaming, bad-language, and all-out loss of control until you almost can’t take it anymore and you just want to…put yourself in time out? Yes, I’m talking about our own parental temper tantrums, which we’ve all been known to experience at one point or another as we raise our kids. Read on for tips on how to stay in control.

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Will This Matter Tomorrow? 3 Ways to Handle Mama Guilt

Blogger My husband, kids and I are browsing furniture when I catch a telltale whiff. I pull back my toddler daughter’s pants to peek in her diaper and am rewarded with a finger full of poo. “Ugh… Violet’s got a really bad diaper. I’m going to go get the diaper bag from the car,” I tell my husband. I scurry past the beds and couches and out the door, holding my finger out to the side like it’s been injured. “Could I ask you a few quick questions about your experience today?” a woman standing by the door with a clipboard asks.
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Don't Always See Eye-to-Eye with Your Mate? 10 Tips for Thriving as Co-parents

Blogger Are you and your partner on the same page 100 percent of the time? For most of us, the answer is no. Co-parenting is one of the biggest concerns that parents have when they come to see me in my practice. So often they come for help regarding their children, but then much of the time is spent discussing how they parent differently than their husband or wife -- and what their disagreements are!
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No Blueprint for Parenting? How to Lead by Example and Raise Drug-free Kids

Blogger Editor's Note: Today's post comes to you from motivational speaker K.D. Hardy. K.D. began his formal education at Alabama A&M University, but shortly after arriving at A&M, he made a drastic u-turn, becoming involved in street life and the illegal drug trade. After years of illegal activities, K.D. was incarcerated for six years. During his incarceration, K.D. completed his education, receiving an Associates degree in Early Childhood Education, which became the catalyst for the change in his life. I can't tell you how often I've heard the statement, There is no blueprint to parenting; you just have to wing it. My reply is always the same: There are no guarantees for most things in life, but there are effective ways to get positive results.
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Effective Discipline: Why Shaming Your Child Won't Work

Blogger It seems that there have been a lot of stories in the news and going viral on social media about parents using shaming techniques to combat their child’s poor choices and/or acting out behavior.  You’ve probably heard about the dad in Florida who made his son stand at a busy intersection with a sign because the child, who is in middle school, is failing three classes and is the “class clown,” or the mom in Indiana who had her son wear a sign stating “I lie, I steal, I sell drug, I don’t follow the law.”  Let’s not forget about the mom who sold her daughter and friends’ concert tickets on eBay and included statements like “YOU all LIED to us about sleep overs so you could hang like little trollops at an older guys HOUSE?????” within the listing. Most of the time, the reason given for these extreme punishments is that the parent is out of ideas for how to get the child to improve their behavior, and they feel that they have tried all other options.
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The Parenting Resolutions Cha-cha: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back is Progress!

Blogger I recently read a statistic that stated that only about a quarter of New Year’s resolutions are kept, and it made me wonder what was behind that number, and why so few change from a resolution into a habit.  I started thinking about what we call thinking errors, and how they can be obstacles to change.  Whenever you are trying to change a behavior, a common trap to fall into is the “all or nothing” mindset.  This is the thinking that goes “Well, I already failed one test -- there goes the rest of the semester,” or “My child was doing really well learning to speak respectfully but tonight he lost it.  I’m a failure as a parent.”  As our thoughts turn to resolutions this time of year, it’s important to remember that the key to lasting behavior change is taking those small daily steps to work toward a long-term goal, rather than expecting a drastic change overnight.
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How to Combat Apathy in Kids--and Grow Closer to Your Child in the Bargain

Blogger Apathy in our children is one of our worst nightmares as parents. We worry that our kids will end up living in the basement, working at a mediocre part-time job and playing video games at the age of 30, without any real drive or passion to speak of. How do you get your child to care? How do you get them to see that there is more to life than what they get from electronics? How do you develop the drive to work hard, tear past the competition and succeed?
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Being a Good Enough Parent: When Others Judge Your Parenting

Blogger In my opinion, parents in our society are subjected to way too much blame and judgment. As an avid sports fan, I frequently listen to my local sports talk radio program on my way into work.  With the baseball playoffs starting (and my beloved Red Sox woefully long out of the picture!), much of the program consisted of the hosts speaking with each other and with callers about different teams and their prospects for winning a title, based on the roster, pitching, injuries, and management.  At one point, one of the hosts stated, “Being a manager of a baseball team has to be one of the hardest jobs out there.  When your team does well, you get too little credit, and when your team stinks, you get too much of the blame.”
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The Myth of the Lucky Parent: Do You Compare Your Family to Others?

Blogger Do you know a lucky parent?  You know the one -- that mom or dad whose kids always do their homework, excel in sports and other activities, have lots of friends, help out around the house without being asked, never talk back, go to bed and get up in the morning without a fight, and even prefer fruits and vegetables over candy?  As social creatures, it is our nature to measure ourselves against those around us to see where we succeed and where we fall short.  As parents, it's hard to resist doing these comparisons with our children and other children.  It starts really early: Is your child sleeping through the night?  Is he rolling over?  Is she talking yet? As your child grows, there are more areas in which to do these comparisons: athletic ability, academics, social skills, as well as compliance with chores and other tasks.  With all this evaluating, it is easy to feel like your luck has run out in the parenting department.
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Worried About Your Child's Future? 3 Tips to Cope

Blogger “If he’s acting like this now, what is he going to be like when he gets older?  I need to get this under control, like yesterday!” Many of the parents I talk to every day on the support line have this thought at one point or another. Some of them verbalize it, while others may not even know they are thinking it. I hear the exhaustion, panic and frustration that these parents feel, not only for the behavior they are seeing in the moment, but nervous anticipation of fights and unease for their child’s future as well. To be the most effective parent possible, it is important to stay in the moment with your child rather than some distant future. Here are some tips I give to parents to help them cope.
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