Parenting Articles about Effective Parenting

At Empowering Parents, our mission is to give you effective parenting techniques in every article, podcast, and blog post. Learn effective parenting strategies, techniques and tools every time you visit our site.
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The Obnoxious Child: When an Audience Makes Behavior Worse

The Obnoxious Child: When an Audience Makes Behavior Worse

Does your child’s behavior become more obnoxious, demanding and “smart-alecky” when he has an audience? Some kids just seem to “step up the show” as soon as their friends come over. You’ll see this happening with both kids who are occasionally out of line, and those who are obnoxious chronically.

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Are You Embarrassed by Your Child's Behavior? 5 Ways to Cope

Are You Embarrassed by Your Child's Behavior? 5 Ways to Cope

When you have a child who acts out, throws tantrums or is disrespectful, their embarrassing behavior can make you want to curl up into a little ball and hide. Here, James Lehman, MSW gives you some tips on how to cope—and how to teach your child the skills he needs.

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Good Behavior is not “Magic”—It’s a Skill The Three Skills Every Child Needs for Good Behavior

Good Behavior is not Magic—Its a Skill  The Three Skills Every Child Needs for Good Behavior

When you have a child who acts out and is disrespectful, it’s easy to compare him to the so-called “good kids” who never seem to get into trouble or give their parents grief. Many people feel hopeless about the possibility of ever teaching their child to “magically” become the kind of well-behaved member of the family they envisioned before they had him.

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Do You Dread Coming Home To Your Kids?

Do You Dread Coming Home To Your Kids?

“On the way home from work every day, I start getting stressed out because I know that my 15-year-old son will be there waiting, ready to start a fight with me. There are times when I just want to turn the car around and not deal with him anymore, but I know that’s wrong. I’m so tired of the screaming matches and power struggles. What can I do?”

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When Your Child Says, “I Don’t Fit In.”

When Your Child Says, I Dont Fit In.

Every child feels like they don’t fit in at some point. Even adults feel that way occasionally: we all experience being “alone in a room full of people.” With kids, the need to be part of a group is instinctual; it’s survival. They want to fit in and be like everyone else because it gives them a sense of safety and security. So when your child tells you they don’t fit in, they’re also saying, “I don’t feel safe.” The anxiety comes from thoughts of, “I’m different; I’m vulnerable.” And sadly, other children tend to focus on kids who are different and can be very cruel.

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“Will My Kid Be Messed Up Forever?”

Will My Kid Be Messed Up Forever?

In my office I’ve dealt with many, many parents through the years who were really discouraged about their kids’ behavior. They felt hopeless and wondered if things were ever going to change. And the feelings they had were understandable: when you have a child who acts out in very aggressive and destructive ways, who is verbally abusive or physically destructive of property, or who even assaults siblings and parents, you feel powerless...

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Does Your Child Say This? “That's boring!”

Does Your Child Say This? That's boring!

When adolescents say something is boring, what they’re often expressing is a low level of anger and frustration. My guess is that this comes from the fact that either they don’t have anything interesting to do and they’re frustrated, or the task they have to do isn’t exciting and requires attention and energy. So when you say, “It’s time to go do your math now,” and a teen responds, “Math is so boring,” they’re expressing a low level of frustration and anger about having to do their math homework, probably because math is boring to them.

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Do You Make this Parenting Mistake? Wait till Your Father Gets Home!

Do You Make this Parenting Mistake? Wait till Your Father Gets Home!

Sometimes when we feel powerless as parents, we resort to bringing out the big guns. Have you ever found yourself saying things like, “Wait until your father gets home!” or “Wait until your mother hears about this!”? I’m here to tell you that if you threaten a child with what their other parent might do, you’re making two serious mistakes.

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Does Your Child Say This? “You love her more than you love me!”

Does Your Child Say This? You love her more than you love me!

When you have more than one child, from time to time they might ask you if you love one sibling more. This is not unusual, and sometimes children will put the question to you in an offhand way, pretending that the answer isn’t really that important. But the answer is important. And the best answer you can give is, “I love you as much as a mother could love a son. I’ll never love you any less.” And then your child will say, “But what about Sarah?” And you can say, “I love Sarah too, but I want you to know that I love you. Never worry about that.” Kids will sense that you love them, but there will be times when they crave affirmation, and it’s important to give it to them

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”You’re making me crazy!” When You’re at the End of Your Parenting Rope

Youre making me crazy!  When Youre at the End of Your Parenting Rope

When parents say things like, “Why are you doing this to me? You’re making me crazy,” to their children, it’s a signal to me that they’re personalizing their kids’ behavior. In other words, what you’re really doing is taking your child’s behavior and viewing it as a personal attack upon you.

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Is This Parenting Phrase Effective? “Because I Said So.”

Is This Parenting Phrase Effective? Because I Said So.

“Because I said so!” What parent hasn’t said these words to their child in a moment of sheer exasperation? What you’re really saying is that you are the one in charge and you want the discussion to end. Of course, sometimes ending it abruptly is appropriate and sometimes it’s not. When this phrase is used in an offhand or sarcastic way, or in response to an initial question from your child, it’s much too abrupt. But despite what some people think, “Because I said so” is not necessarily a negative phrase—it all depends on when and how it is said.

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Does Your Child Say This? “Leave Me Alone!”

Does Your Child Say This? Leave Me Alone!

Children can be adept at shutting down, and shutting you out—leaving you with unanswered questions and a whole lot of frustration. If you find your child is shutting down every conversation with “Leave me alone!” or “It’s none of your business!”, here are some ways you can handle their response—and make sure the issue at hand gets addressed in the appropriate way without getting into a power struggle.

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Gut Check: Shame and Anger: The Emotional Handcuffs of Parenting

Gut Check: Shame and Anger: The Emotional Handcuffs of Parenting

One of the unaddressed elements of children’s behavior is the pain that families go through, knowing that others are judging them. Because the fact is, they are being judged. When parents have to go to school constantly because of their kid’s outbursts, when they get in conflicts with the neighbors because of the kid’s behavior, when they’re at the supermarket and the kid throws a temper tantrum, or they’re at the mall with their adolescent child and he raises his voice or gives his parents backtalk, it’s completely humiliating.

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The Ripple Effect of Defiant Behavior: When Parents Pay the Price

The Ripple Effect of Defiant Behavior: When Parents Pay the Price

James Lehman, creator of The Total Transformation Program, examines the effects of acting out behavior on parents and the family, and reveals how to calm the storm in the home.

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