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Parenting Articles about Effective Parenting
At Empowering Parents, our mission is to give you effective parenting techniques in every article, podcast, and blog post. Learn effective parenting strategies, techniques and tools every time you visit our site.
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When I was growing up, summer vacation was long and lazy. I recall summer camps and sleepovers. I’d leave the house early and not return until the evening. My friends and I could be found all over the neighborhood – playing outside our houses, tearing up the playgrounds or riding bikes all over the place. I remember being carefree and having a great time.
Today I am the mom of two boys – one just about to enter high school, the other entering his “senior” year of middle school. Effective the summer prior to 6th grade, homework assignments are now part of the summertime equation. Although we did not have this growing up and we turned out just fine (I think), I’m all for keeping the mind sharp with a little summer reading or math. But the schools down here in Broward County have another thing in mind.
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I didn’t really see it coming until it hit me in the face directly.
I was having a mommy and me day with my youngest child, complete with a trip to the American Girl store that just opened up and then tea at a lovely hotel. While holding a doll named Sue I became giddy over all the little doll shoes, pint-sized picnic sets, and soccer clothes that this grand store was trying to pawn off on us. Although I’d set a fixed price before we left to commemorate our special day, I was so swept up in the moment that we ended up bringing home much more than I intended.
My middle child immediately cried foul that his sister got “soooo many goodies,” whereas he got only one souvenir from our day together earlier this summer. So he did what all good big brothers do: he bragged that he was going to a movie and lunch with me the next day when my daughter went to her camp. This naturally sent my daughter into hysterics about how unfair it is that her brother gets everything and she gets nothing, even after my credit card was still smoking from our day’s purchases just hours before.
I stared at the two of them and realized something: my kids are greedy.
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Something I see often is parents saying one thing but doing another when it comes to making a decision between what they want for themselves and what’s best for their children. If you ask any parent what is the most important thing to them, they will answer “My kids” almost instantaneously. While I truly think that people believe this in their heart, they often don’t act that way. They talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. When it comes down to making this type of decision, the thing that is important to the parent often ends up taking priority over what is in the children’s best interest. To be blunt, parents in certain situations act selfishly and then try to rationalize it.
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It is summer. I am finally on vacation. This means I do not have to teach my hardworking graduate students one night a week for 8 weeks, battle over my sons’ homework, attend numerous PTO or IEP meetings. However, I will still be in contact with my students as they continue their action research literature review. In the meantime, I will continue my perpetual ongoing literature review... the one that began about eight years ago.
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Do your kids suffer from “BUY ME THIS, BUY ME THAT” syndrome? No need to worry, it’s just a phase they have to go through.
Most kids are like that, especially during the pre-school years. Some outgrow the phase while others don’t. The key to making your kids outgrow it is to never give in to their every whim. Small requests like chocolate bars, cookies and ice cream are harmless; we adults like those, too. But when they start asking you to buy them expensive toys every week, then that’s the time to implement some ground rules.
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As many parents have learned the world over, not every program will work for every child, every time. Sometimes you have to take bits and pieces of different programs and meld them together to suit your individual child.
For the most part, The Total Transformation Program has worked beautifully all on its own without any supplemental help. We’ve seen real progress in both our sons, Thomas (11) and Brandon (8). We've seen progress in ourselves, as well. (We’re about to go into week three now, identifying how to be coaches in the learning process our children are going through to gain coping skills.)
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Random parenting discussions with friends have made me realize no matter what the situation of your family, children and parents both behave badly at times. I tend to think I deal with many more behavior issues than the “average” parent because my child is ADHD and on the autism spectrum. The more behavior issues, the more patience needed. However, I think all parents need ways to stay calm and cool when faced with the continuous confrontation mode from their child. |
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In this blog post, SingleDad Founder, Richard “RJ” Jaramillo discusses dealing with the loss of a family pet and gives parents helpful tips on how to talk about it with their kids.
I had a surreal moment two years ago. I was in my old house, sitting in familiar surroundings. My ex-wife, Susan, was in the kitchen sitting across from me and sharing a cup of coffee. We both had the same look of grief on our faces, as well as relief. I could feel my eyes welling up as we began to reflect and share all the family memories of Ellie, our Australian Shepherd that was taking her last breaths in front us.
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Recently changes have been made in our house. We’ve completed a few Total Transformation lessons and we have noticed an actual change in Thomas, our oldest, who is diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, ADHD and Autism. |
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For my children, hearing, listening, following directions, and (oh, let me just say it) compliance with others is like pulling teeth. (*Cringe*.) There are many days when I feel like I’ve failed as a parent, and my kids are still so young. When you throw in their ADHD (and mine) into the mix, it makes for some pretty difficult days. |
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I have officially entered the sandwich generation, a member of the boomer generation blessed with the dubious distinction of simultaneously caring for an aging parent while still having children at home in need of parental assistance with homework.
My sandwich is also a club sandwich with a layer of adult children as well. Does that mean I can request that it be gourmet instead of bologna slapped on white with a piece of American added for good measure? Please? Please can I make it gourmet, otherwise I might not make it…fifth grade homework and new math are killing me, teenage girl drama is still painful second hand, online gambling and overdrawn bank accounts, a son finally negotiating his way but it took a DUI to get him to that point, and now my mom providing the top layer.
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Dear EP Readers,
This is the last week that we’ll be featuring winning entries from our recent EP Contest in our blog. We appreciate all the parents who wrote in with suggestions for “Parenting Mistakes I’ve Made—and How I’m Going to Fix Them!”
To all of our winners, thank you once again for the encouragement and inspiration you offer—you have truly empowered other parents out there with your words!
--Elisabeth Wilkins, EP Editor
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This week, we're continuing to feature more winning entries from our recent contest, Parenting Mistakes I've Made--and How I'm Going to Fix Them! Each of these parents offers inspiration, encouragement and good, practical tips for all of us. Congratulations again!
--Elisabeth, EP Editor
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The recent devastating earthquake in Haiti, with its images of people and bodies being pulled from the rubble, has spurred a lot of hard (and good) conversations in our family about what we can do to help. My middle son, who’s impulsive and outgoing, wanted to rush there to rescue people “right away,” and has been scouring the house for change to bring to his school to add to their fundraising pot. My 7-year-old daughter, who is the first one ready in the morning and is organized to a fault, is helping her class to raise money for specific supplies. (And my teenager isn’t really involved in helping, because, let’s face it, he’s a teenager and not the most empathetic person on the planet right now! Still, we've had some good conversations about what it means to go through a natural disaster and have no food or shelter.)
The whole experience, while difficult and sad, has been important for my kids because it brings home the necessity of empathy in a child’s life—the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and really ask the question, “How would I feel? What would I want people to do for me in the same situation?”
In my mind, empathy is probably the most difficult, yet the most vital quality a child can possess. While no one can always be kind and empathic, I think it’s important to teach your child that empathy is a trait that your family values from an early age.
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