Do you ever wonder if you're giving the right consequences? Perhaps you don't feel like it's having an effect on your child's behavior. And are natural consequences for children always the best thing? Parenting strategies that explain the right way to give consequences to your child and teen—and the importance of giving rewards.
If you’re having trouble giving effective consequences to your teen, know that you are not alone. Many parents tell me that nothing seems to work, and that coming up with the right thing for their child can seem like an impossible task. If you’re the parent of an adolescent, you may have grounded your child,... Read more »
The daily grind of the school routine can be hard for everyone in the house. In the morning, parents are faced with groggy kids who won't get out of bed and get ready for school no matter how much you nag, bribe and scold. Homework time can be even worse, with nightly fights and accusations... Read more »
Q: When your child lies to you, it hurts. As parents, it makes us angry and we take it personally. We feel like we can never trust our child again. Why does lying cause such anger, pain and worry for parents? James: Parents are understandably very afraid of their children getting hurt and getting into trouble,... Read more »
“My kids are driving me crazy! They are so manipulative I can’t stand it!” Does this sound familiar? "My middle schooler blackmails me emotionally – he cries that I 'don’t care about him and love his brother more' when I ask him to stop playing his video games. It's true that he's a more difficult kid,... Read more »
We all know that kids can act in many disrespectful and rude ways to parents: they can slam doors, roll their eyes, and tell you they hate you, to name a few. It’s natural to get very worried and frustrated and wonder if these types of behaviors constitute out-and-out abuse, or just “rudeness and mild... Read more »
Many of the questions we receive on the Parental Support Line involve consequences and incentives. Parents wonder how to set them up effectively, and how long to give them. Another frequent question we receive is simply, “What am I supposed to use as a consequence—or a motivator?” A great way to start is to sit down during... Read more »
Do you have a kid who doesn't care about consequences? If so, this dad's story probably sounds more than familiar to you: “I’ve done everything I can think of to get my teen to follow just the simple rules. I took away his Xbox. I unplugged the TV and removed the cord. The internet was shut off indefinitely (thank goodness I still have my... Read more »
Recently, a frustrated mom sat in my office and said, “I just don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve tried everything! There’s no punishment that gets through to our child; there’s nothing we can say that will fix her behavior. There’s so much going on we just don’t know where to start.” Sound familiar? Parents... Read more »
Does your child ignore every consequence you give him? James Lehman can help with 10 specific ways to make consequences work—even for the most resistant child. When kids are faced with something unpleasant, they'll often act like it doesn't matter to them. When your child says, “I don't care” or seems unaffected when you give... Read more »
The alarm goes off and the morning battle begins: you knock on your child’s bedroom door to wake him, but you have to go back time and again to make sure he’s actually up, your voice rising with each “wake-up call.” As the minutes tick by and he still hasn’t gotten out of bed, you... Read more »