“It’s not fair! You’re always yelling at me, even when it’s not my fault!” Sound familiar? The minute you say no, or set limits, or try to enforce the rules, your child immediately says that you’re not being fair and that you always pick on him. He overreacts constantly to routine requests and takes no responsibility... Read more »
You: “Please put your things away.” Your child: “I’m busy. I’ll do it later.” You: “You need to do your homework.” Your child: “It’s stupid. I’m not doing it!” You: “You’re not allowed to go to that party. You’re grounded.” Your child: “NO! I’m not grounded! I’m going!” Does it... Read more »
Recently I met with a 15-year-old boy to talk about his future. He was getting into trouble at school and on the brink of failing all his subjects. When we discussed his career goals, he stated that he wanted to be a mixed martial arts pro or a firefighter. Had he taken any classes related... Read more »
Does your child use anger or threats to get what he wants? Does he pick fights and blackmail you emotionally? Or maybe he acts helpless or plays sick to get out of doing chores or homework. Whether kids manipulate us aggressively or passively, this behavior makes most of us feel out of control and “played”... Read more »
I've worked with a lot of children and teens with behavior problems over the years—and believe me, very few of their parents liked their friends. It's like the national anthem of parents: “It's not my child—it’s those kids he hangs out with!” When I hear that, I always say: “Maybe that's so, but the reason... Read more »
The silent treatment gives your child a feeling of power and control over you. It's how they push your buttons and get you to leave them alone. Know that if your child gives you the silent treatment, that's probably the best problem-solving skill he has at that moment. Simply put, he's trying to deal with... Read more »
It's no secret that certain phone calls bring anxiety. Think about getting a call from your child's teacher. To me, that call is like a bomb that keeps exploding in your face. The phone rings (the smoke). The teacher explains that she has tried to email you (blaring fire alarm). She shares that the... Read more »
Over the years, I’ve talked with countless parents who “fixed” things for their children—cleaning their rooms, picking up left-behind messes around the house, apologizing for their kids, easing their disappointments, or even typing their teen’s school papers because they could “type faster.” I recall talking to a mother who would stop what she was doing... Read more »
Picture this: It’s late and getting later. Jessica was supposed to be home an hour ago and Marie, Jessica's mom, feels her blood pressure ratcheting upwards with every tick of the kitchen clock. Marie alternates between fear for her daughter’s safety, and anger at being late for curfew — again. When Jessica finally walks in... Read more »
Do you homeschool your kids? Recently, a reader wrote in with this question about her 13-year-old daughter, who thinks being homeschooled means she can do work whenever she wants to. "I know EmpoweringParents.com has written about how to get kids to do their homework, but we have a unique situation. We homeschool our two children, and... Read more »