As spring kicks into high gear, many parents struggle with the anxiety they associate with prom and graduation season. Parents of chronically misbehaved kids might wonder, “Does my child even deserve this privilege?” Other parents are nervous that their child might do drugs, drink, have sex—or all of the above. The high cost of prom and your child’s emotions around attending can cause power struggles and heated fights at home.

James Lehman did not have a life that could be called “usual.” His parents were alcoholics who abandoned him when he was still a baby, leaving him in his crib wearing nothing but a diaper. He was discovered by their landlord, but James was so sick he nearly died. The landlord’s son and his wife decided to adopt him and raise him as their own. Thinking they were unable to have children, they went on to adopt another boy, but then ended up having two more biological sons. James never quite felt like he fit in, and he began to act out at home and school.

When your teen is angry and screaming at you, the temptation for many of us is to fight back and scream louder so you “win” the argument. But what does that do? It's natural to want to push back or stand up for yourself if someone pushes your buttons or provokes you in some way. We often unknowingly internalize this message and it becomes a parent’s mantra: “I’m not going to let my own child walk all over me.”

If you’re the parent of a teen, you’ve probably heard a version of this coming from your child’s lips—or expressed with an eye roll or door slam. It’s very painful for us when our children suddenly can’t stand the sight of us, and act like they’d rather die than be seen with us. On top of that, many kids become disrespectful when they go through this phase of adolescence. They resort to name-calling, insults and other hurtful behavior. When your child starts doing this, you might look at him and wonder, “Who is this person, this kid who used to love me last year, but suddenly is embarrassed to be with me?”

When your kids start to talk back, you might as well welcome them to adolescence. Back talk, however disrespectful and obnoxious it is in the moment, is your child’s way of learning how to assert herself. As every parent of a teen knows, adolescents often aren’t thinking things through; they’re just learning how to stand up for themselves, and most of the time they’re not going to do it very well. Your job is to help your child change rude behavior by teaching her how to state her viewpoint in a more respectful and appropriate way. This doesn’t mean she’ll always get her way—but she’ll eventually learn to voice her opinions without being disrespectful.

Does this sound familiar? You’ve told your teen she can’t go out with her friends this Friday because she came in past curfew last weekend. There’s been a huge fight where one—or both of you—lost control and screamed at each other. Now the tension in the house is unbearable. Your child is irritable and argumentative—or sullen and moody—and you’re walking on eggshells around her in order to avoid a repeat performance.

“Freak. Loser. Idiot. Geek.” These are just some of the ugly labels kids throw around every day at school. Chances are, your child has been called names even worse than these. The sad fact is that the more times your kid is called a hateful name, the more he’ll start to believe it’s true. This week, we sat down with “Teen Whisperer” Josh Shipp to talk about the dangers of kids using labels, and to hear why he believes your child’s sense of identity is at the core of good self–esteem—and good behavior.

Does your teen have low self-esteem? Maybe he has a lousy self image, or anxiety about fitting in at school or with peers. This week in EP, read about these difficult adolescent issues from Josh Shipp, someone who’s been there and knows what he’s talking about.

Have you gotten the call from your child's school? Janet Lehman, MSW talks frankly about how she and her husband James dealt with it when their son had trouble at school.

It’s hard to get most adolescents to comply, but when you’re dealing with a hostile teen, it can be almost impossible. In part two of this series on anger and hostility in kids, James Lehman discusses concrete ways for you to break through your child’s force field of anger and defuse his hostility. Don’t give up yet—it really is possible to bring peace to your home.

It’s that time again—all around us, TV ads and store posters depict happy children and teens in back–to–school mode. But if the thought of your child starting school fills you with dread, you’re not alone. Right now, thousands of parents across the country are asking themselves, “How am I going to get my child up on time, get him to do his homework and make sure he stays out of trouble this year?” Janet Lehman, MSW tells you how to establish structure in your house before the school year starts—and what to do if you haven’t.

It’s one of the hardest things parents deal with: even if you’re trying to raise your child the right way, as soon as he walks out the door, you know he’s going to be exposed to all sorts of negative—even dangerous—influences. From dress to attitude to a popular culture that says it’s cool to drink and do drugs, parents have every right to be concerned. Are you afraid to send your child out the door? In this insightful one–on–one interview, James Lehman gives you some honest advice.

In part two of this series, James discusses eight ways to challenge acting out behavior in kids today—from disrespect to breaking curfew to alcohol and substance abuse—in order to start changing your child’s behavior tomorrow.

“Every teen goes through this!” You tell yourself these words, but in the back of your mind, you wonder if your child’s disrespect, acting out and destructive behavior really is normal. How do you know if your child is going through an adolescent phase, or if his out-of-control behavior is here to stay? James Lehman has the answer in Part 1 of this 2-part series in Empowering Parents.