Does your home sometimes feel like a battle zone?
Whether the argument occurs between you and your child or between siblings, these intense interactions have a way of wearing a parent down like no other behavior. Many parents find themselves pulled into an argument before they're even aware it’s happened. It can be tempting to stay engaged in these discussions, to try and win the argument or to get your child to understand your point of view.
In these moments, it can be helpful to recognize the purpose arguing serves for your child – it gives him power and the perceived notion that he can challenge you. Arguing and fighting levels the playing field and supports the idea that you and your child are peers. Keep in mind - you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to, as James Lehman reminds us in The Total Transformation Program.
You can walk away from an argument and teach your child better ways of solving his problems.
Does your child always insist that they’re right and everyone else is wrong? Some kids have a bad habit of asserting their opinions by drowning out everyone else in the room—regardless of whether or not they know what they’re talking about. Understandably, this overbearing behavior can be very annoying and frustrating for both parents and... Read more »
Does this sound familiar? You’ve told your teen she can’t go out with her friends this Friday because she came in past curfew last weekend. There’s been a huge fight where one—or both of you—lost control and screamed at each other. Now the tension in the house is unbearable. Your child... Read more »
Does it seem like you have a war going on in your family—with you on one side, and your kids on the other? Many parents feel like they live in the middle of a battle zone and that at any given moment they might step on a landmine. Maybe you have a teen who is... Read more »
In part 2 of this two-part series, James discusses exactly what to do when your children get in trouble for fighting at school or at home—and the right kinds of consequences to give them so they learn to use appropriate behavior instead of lashing out when they feel like hitting someone the next time. Read... Read more »
“When I was young, my mom and dad sent us out to play in the morning in our neighborhood, and we didn’t come home until dinner time,” a friend said to me recently. “But times have changed. I feel like I have to keep constant tabs on my kids. I wish they could have the... Read more »
You’ve probably heard these words of advice before: “Just walk away when your child is trying to pull you into a fight.” And in fact, turning around and walking away is one of the most important things you can do as a parent to end power struggles with your kids. But what should you do... Read more »
We want our children to learn to speak and communicate. We want them to become independent thinkers. We also want them, someday, to stand on their own. Well, believe it or not, these are some of the key factors to explain why some children argue with their parents. According to the Department of Families, arguments... Read more »
You’re driving home from work, and you call your teen and tell him to clean his room and finish his homework. Before he grunts a response and hangs up, you swear you can hear the T.V. blaring in the background. You feel your stress levels rising and think, “I know the house is going to... Read more »
Does your child always seem to get in trouble for fighting? You’ve tried talking to him, but the aggressive behavior hasn’t stopped—he still roughhouses with his siblings at home to the point of injury, brawls with kids on the bus and gets into fistfights at school. In part 1 of this two-part series on aggressive... Read more »
I often joke that kids with ADHD would make great politicians or lawyers, because they never give up a fight! Trying to cope with a child who argues at the drop of a hat can test the patience of any sane person. Not surprisingly, over the years many parents have asked me what they can... Read more »
