Does your home sometimes feel like a battle zone?
Whether the argument occurs between you and your child or between siblings, these intense interactions have a way of wearing a parent down like no other behavior. Many parents find themselves pulled into an argument before they're even aware it’s happened. It can be tempting to stay engaged in these discussions, to try and win the argument or to get your child to understand your point of view.
In these moments, it can be helpful to recognize the purpose arguing serves for your child – it gives him power and the perceived notion that he can challenge you. Arguing and fighting levels the playing field and supports the idea that you and your child are peers. Keep in mind - you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to, as James Lehman reminds us in The Total Transformation Program.
You can walk away from an argument and teach your child better ways of solving his problems. Here are a few articles to get you started:
Arguing with Your Child? Five Things You Shouldn't Do
When Your Home is a Battle Zone: How to Resolve Conflicts Peacefully
How to Walk Away from a Fight With Your Child: Why It's Harder Than You Think
Parental abuse occurs when a child — usually a teenager but sometimes a pre-teen — engages in behavior that is abusive toward a parent. It may be a one-time incident or it may escalate in frequency, even to the point of a daily occurrence. It can range from verbal abuse (for example, swearing at or... Read more »
A child’s disrespectful behavior can be a parent’s greatest “button-pusher.” A dad recently shared his frustration about his 14-year-old daughter’s disrespect: “I told her she couldn’t go to a party until her room was picked up – it’s an absolute mess – and she just exploded. She yelled, told me she hated me and slammed... Read more »
“I won’t do it!” “You can’t make me!” “I’m not going!” Do you ever find yourself wondering, “When will this child stop defying me and start doing what I ask?” It can be incredibly frustrating, not to mention exhausting, dealing with a young child or toddler who finds it necessary to challenge your every request, act in a... Read more »
For many parents, every conversation with their kids seems to turn into an argument. The parents I have worked with get completely frustrated and then don’t know how to make it stop. Whether it’s during a difficult time (like adolescence) or over several years, arguing can seem like the only form of communication that parents... Read more »
Everyone gets angry at times—children and adults alike. Anger is an emotion that can range from slightly irritated, to moderately angry, to full-blown rage. And it can happen quickly. A child’s anger naturally makes us feel uncomfortable. As a result, we may try to appease our child, give in to their demands, or avoid certain situations... Read more »
“I love my son, but things are getting really rough. I never expected him to still be living at home in his twenties. I don’t mind helping him while he gets on his feet, but most of the time he acts like he’s still thirteen – and he’s twenty three! This is not what I... Read more »
Does your child always insist that they’re right and everyone else is wrong? Some kids have a bad habit of asserting their opinions by drowning out everyone else in the room—regardless of whether or not they know what they’re talking about. Understandably, this overbearing behavior can be very annoying and frustrating for both parents and... Read more »
Our kids have the uncanny ability to get under our skin and bring out the very worst in us. I can lose my temper and yell at my kids in a way that I would never do with a child who was not my own. Indeed, we often treat our loved ones the worst. Here's... Read more »
Does this sound familiar? You’ve told your teen she can’t go out with her friends this Friday because she came in past curfew last weekend. There’s been a huge fight where one—or both of you—lost control and screamed at each other. Now the tension in the house is unbearable. Your child... Read more »
Recently, a frustrated mom sat in my office and said, “I just don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve tried everything! There’s no punishment that gets through to our child; there’s nothing we can say that will fix her behavior. There’s so much going on we just don’t know where to start.” Sound familiar? Parents... Read more »
