Arguing & Fighting

Does your home sometimes feel like a battle zone?

Whether the argument occurs between you and your child or between siblings, these intense interactions have a way of wearing a parent down like no other behavior. Many parents find themselves pulled into an argument before they're even aware it’s happened. It can be tempting to stay engaged in these discussions, to try and win the argument or to get your child to understand your point of view.

In these moments, it can be helpful to recognize the purpose arguing serves for your child – it gives him power and the perceived notion that he can challenge you. Arguing and fighting levels the playing field and supports the idea that you and your child are peers. Keep in mind - you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to, as James Lehman reminds us in The Total Transformation Program.

You can walk away from an argument and teach your child better ways of solving his problems. Here are a few articles to get you started:

Arguing with Your Child? Five Things You Shouldn't Do

When Your Home is a Battle Zone: How to Resolve Conflicts Peacefully

How to Walk Away from a Fight With Your Child: Why It's Harder Than You Think

Defiant Young Children and Toddlers: 5 Things Not to Do

By Dr. Joan Simeo Munson

50 Comments

“I won’t do it!” “You can’t make me!” “I’m not going!” Do you ever find yourself wondering, “When will this child stop defying me and start doing what I ask?” It can be incredibly frustrating, not to mention exhausting, dealing with a young child or toddler who finds it necessary to challenge your every request, act in a... Read more »

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Arguing With Your Child? Five Things You Shouldn’t Do

By James Lehman, MSW

35 Comments

For many parents, every conversation with their kids seems to turn into an argument. The parents I have worked with get completely frustrated and then don’t know how to make it stop. Whether it’s during a difficult time (like adolescence) or over several years, arguing can seem like the only form of communication that parents... Read more »

Very angry teen girl saying "I hate you mom"

Anger, Rage and Explosive Outbursts: How to Respond to Your Child or Teen’s Anger

By Kim Abraham, LMSW & Marney Studaker-Cordner, LMSW

30 Comments

Everyone gets angry at times—children and adults alike. Anger is an emotion that can range from slightly irritated, to moderately angry, to full-blown rage. And it can happen quickly. A child’s anger naturally makes us feel uncomfortable. As a result, we may try to appease our child, give in to their demands, or avoid certain situations... Read more »

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