Arguing & Fighting

Does your home sometimes feel like a battle zone?

Whether the argument occurs between you and your child or between siblings, these intense interactions have a way of wearing a parent down like no other behavior. Many parents find themselves pulled into an argument before they're even aware it’s happened. It can be tempting to stay engaged in these discussions, to try and win the argument or to get your child to understand your point of view.

In these moments, it can be helpful to recognize the purpose arguing serves for your child – it gives him power and the perceived notion that he can challenge you. Arguing and fighting levels the playing field and supports the idea that you and your child are peers. Keep in mind - you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to, as James Lehman reminds us in The Total Transformation Program.

You can walk away from an argument and teach your child better ways of solving his problems. Here are a few articles to get you started:

Arguing with Your Child? Five Things You Shouldn't Do

When Your Home is a Battle Zone: How to Resolve Conflicts Peacefully

How to Walk Away from a Fight With Your Child: Why It's Harder Than You Think

Defiant Young Children and Toddlers: 5 Things Not to Do

By Dr. Joan Simeo Munson

50 Comments

“I won’t do it!” “You can’t make me!” “I’m not going!” Do you ever find yourself wondering, “When will this child stop defying me and start doing what I ask?” It can be incredibly frustrating, not to mention exhausting, dealing with a young child or toddler who finds it necessary to challenge your every request, act in a... Read more »

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Arguing With Your Child? Five Things You Shouldn’t Do

By James Lehman, MSW

35 Comments

“You’re not going to the concert and that’s final.” “Sam’s mom lets him go. Why can’t you let me go?” “I don’t care what Sam’s mom does. And anyway, why should that matter? I told you if you didn’t bring your grades up, you couldn’t go.” “That’s not fair! You never let me do what other kids my... Read more »

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