Q: Why do parents tend to dismiss inappropriate behavior as “a phase?” James: When a child is between 18 months and two years old, they’ll start to walk away and say "no" to their parent. The child is practicing a new skill. Parents call it a phase because eventually, the “no” goes away and the child... Read more »
Every child feels like they don’t fit in at some point. And with kids, the need to be part of a group is instinctual. It’s survival in their world. They want to fit in and be like everyone else because it gives them a sense of safety and security. So when your child tells you... Read more »
Ever get stuck trying to give the right consequences to your young child or toddler? Remember, teaching accountability by giving consequences can start early, when your child is still small. In fact, it's one of the most important things you could ever teach them. The key is to do it in a manner appropriate for... Read more »
Do you have a picture of what the holidays should look like? Most of us do whether we admit it or not. When the reality doesn’t match the expectation you have in your head, it feels awful. Parents of acting-out kids know this firsthand, because the reality so often doesn’t match their expectation. If you go... Read more »
Many parents write in to Empowering Parents and ask, “Is it too late to change the way I parent my child—and will it actually work if I do?” In this article, James Lehman explains how you can change the way you parent, and why your child’s behavior has a much better chance of improving when... Read more »
Does your child seem to interrupt every conversation with the words, "But Mom..." or "But Dad..." ? Do they constantly cut you off mid-sentence to tell you that something's not fair? Interrupting comes from a variety of sources, including over-stimulation, competition with siblings and peers, impulsivity and general family patterns of communication. It’s helpful to... Read more »
Kids use the silent treatment as a way to get you to leave them alone and to push your buttons. Here is what most parents don't realize: the silent treatment is giving your child a feeling of power and control over you. What's behind your child's thinking? Usually, they're angry or embarrassed. In fact, often you'll... Read more »
As parents, it’s easy to focus on the kids and lose sight of ourselves and our needs as adults at this time of year. So, when we look at how to manage family and behavior problems during the holidays, we need to look at the effect the season has on us and on our kids. “It’s... Read more »
You hear that you should let your child face natural consequences, but what exactly does this mean? Many parents struggle with this concept because they don’t fully understand what constitutes a "natural" consequence. And sometimes parents have difficulty relinquishing control because they feel they always have to get their child to obey. I’ve talked to many... Read more »
