Here’s a piece of parenting advice I often find myself giving to the parents I coach: "Explain yourself once to your child and then move on." You usually can’t end an argument—or make a child do something—by trying to make them understand and agree with you. The fact is, they don’t understand you. They’re going to see... Read more »
What is the best consequence to use for a particular behavior? This is probably the most common question we receive during our online parent coaching sessions. Parents wonder which consequences to use, how to set them up effectively, and how long to give them. A great way to start figuring out the right consequences for your situation... Read more »
I've worked with a lot of children and teens with behavior problems over the years—and believe me, very few of their parents liked their friends. It's like the national anthem of parents: “It's not my child—it’s those kids he hangs out with!” When I hear that, I always say: “Maybe that's so, but the reason... Read more »
“It’s not fair! You’re always yelling at me, even when it’s not my fault!” Sound familiar? The minute you say no, or set limits, or try to enforce the rules, your child immediately says that you’re not being fair and that you always pick on him. He overreacts constantly to routine requests and takes no responsibility... Read more »
What’s one of the keys to avoiding constant fights with your child? Believe it or not, it’s the same skill that will help you through any crisis situation—your ability to remain calm. When your child is upset, anxious or angry, keeping your cool is half the battle. It’s a way for you to put out... Read more »
Do you have a kid who doesn't care about consequences? If so, this dad's story probably sounds more than familiar to you: “I’ve done everything I can think of to get my teen to follow just the simple rules. I took away his Xbox. I unplugged the TV and removed the cord. The internet was shut off indefinitely (thank goodness I still have my... Read more »
Calm Parenting—most of us aspire to it, desire it, and even promise ourselves we’re going to do it—but it’s so difficult to sustain. We know how important it is to parent from our principles rather than from our fears, but despite our best intentions we lose it and end up yelling at those we love... Read more »
Does your child ignore every consequence you give him? James Lehman can help with 10 specific ways to make consequences work—even for the most resistant child. When kids are faced with something unpleasant, they'll often act like it doesn't matter to them. When your child says, “I don't care,” or seems unaffected when you give him... Read more »
Our kids have the uncanny ability to get under our skin and bring out the very worst in us. I can lose my temper and yell at my kids in a way that I would never do with a child who was not my own. Indeed, we often treat our loved ones the worst. Here's... Read more »
Recently, a frustrated mom sat in my office and said, “I just don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve tried everything! There’s no punishment that gets through to our child; there’s nothing we can say that will fix her behavior. There’s so much going on we just don’t know where to start.” Sound familiar? Parents... Read more »
