To expect your child to understand and care about your feelings when he or she disobeys you is a sign that you’re over–personalizing the behavior. And by doing so, you are setting yourself up to be frustrated. When parents take things very personally, they overreact by saying abusive things, giving severe punishments or even physically hurting their... Read more »
If you’re the parent of a defiant child, you’ve probably wondered what makes him so angry at life—and angry at you. With the school year approaching, are you gearing up for another difficult year with your child, just hoping that he’ll make it through—and that you’ll be able to manage without falling apart? Realize that... Read more »
Swearing is everywhere in our culture. But as parents, you get to decide the culture of your home, and I recommend to all parents to establish a culture of respect and no swearing. Establish this culture for the sake of a peaceful and respectful home. But also realize that children who know how to act... Read more »
Many parents make the mistake of assuming that since their child’s behavior is connected to their feelings, fixing the feelings will fix the behavior. Unfortunately, nothing could be further from the truth. It’s critical for parents to understand that processing your child’s feelings while they are happening is not constructive. Children become overwhelmed with emotions, and... Read more »
It's no secret that certain phone calls bring anxiety. Think about getting a call from your child's teacher. To me, that call is like a bomb that keeps exploding in your face. The phone rings (the smoke). The teacher explains that she has tried to email you (blaring fire alarm). She shares that the... Read more »
Does it seem like every time you tell your child “No,” it turns into a tug-of-war? One mom shared with us recently, “Absolutely everything’s an argument with my son. Even the simplest request. He just can’t take no for an answer. It’s so frustrating!” Many parents find themselves in a negotiation with their children when... Read more »
When you have an oversensitive child with a hair-trigger temper, it really puts you—and other family members—on edge. You begin to tip toe around him or her; you feel like you can’t be direct for fear of causing an angry, explosive response. You also start to feel responsible for your kid’s behavior and “take the... Read more »
Recently I met with a 15-year-old boy to talk about his future. He was getting into trouble at school and on the brink of failing all his subjects. When we discussed his career goals, he stated that he wanted to be a mixed martial arts pro or a firefighter. Had he taken any classes related... Read more »
We’ve all heard the following phrases from our kids: “Stop touching me!” “Give that back!” “Knock it off!” “MOM, he took my stuff!” “DAD, she won’t stay on her side of the car!” Sometimes it’s simply annoying and frustrating, like fingernails on a chalkboard. Other times, arguments cross the line into verbal and physical abuse. If... Read more »
Why are your child’s “triggers” so important to be aware of when it comes to losing your temper, or your kids acting out? Many parents I talk to in eCoaching are mystified by their child’s behavior. They feel like they’re walking through a minefield at home—where something, anything, could set their child off at any... Read more »
