"I wouldn't be in trouble at school if my mom had just written me an excuse," complained a teen I was counseling recently. "And the teacher didn't have to fail me–he could've let me off with a warning!" As I listened to this bright 15-year-old kid explain why everyone was at fault for his situation... Read more »
As a parent, you naturally worry about your child's future. It's part of being a parent, and it makes sense. A healthy dose of worry motivates you to set limits and keeps your child safe and on the right track. Nevertheless, too many of our worries are excessive and just don't make sense. Especially when we... Read more »
Many parents spend enormous amounts of energy lecturing their kids about the importance of being responsible. Often to no avail. Despite the lectures, your kid still won’t clean their room, empty the dishwasher, complete their homework, or apologize to their little brother. To your child, it probably just sounds like nagging. And for good reason.... Read more »
Countless parents write to Empowering Parents and say, "I don't know how to make my child behave. He's out of control, and people blame me for his behavior. I feel guilty and ashamed most of the time and very alone. It's the worst feeling in the world." The truth is, you're not supposed to know... Read more »
The idea that kids should learn to do chores for some abstract reason—like duty or responsibility—sounds good on paper, but has very little practical application in a child's life. It just doesn't work as a strategy. But there are practical steps you can take to get your kids to do their chores. Getting kids to do... Read more »
“My 14-year-old son is late for everything. It’s always, “In a minute,” or “I’m almost ready.” He’s not a bad kid, but he just doesn’t seem to understand that there are people waiting for him. The last straw was when he made us miss the beginning of our daughter’s high school play recently, even though... Read more »
You can’t punish your child into better behavior. Forget about over-the-top punishments or ineffective rules because you'll just end up in a power struggle. The right consequences actually motivate your child to good behavior. They put you back in control and teach your child how to problem-solve, giving your child the skills needed to be... Read more »
What comes to mind when you hear the phrase “free-range” parenting? Many people picture extremely lenient parents who impose few rules and fewer consequences. However, as with many stereotypes, that’s far from the truth. Free-ranging parenting, like all parenting, takes a lot of hard work—and for the kids, being free-range is a hard-earned privilege. As a... Read more »
Patience. It’s something many of us in the Empowering Parents community wish we had more of. In my coaching sessions, I often ask parents how they respond when their children act out. Most express the desire to develop more patience with their kids. But what exactly is patience? For many people, including me, patience means remaining... Read more »
When families call parent coaching, just about every call we get involves a question about consequences. Many parents struggle to find effective consequences while overlooking the importance of using rewards. We recommend establishing rewards or "incentive systems" for kids, which can be done easily using a behavior chart. Behavior charts are important to consider for several... Read more »
