Whenever we’ve started a new discipline technique, or have added to it or taken away from it, we’ve discussed the changes with our children. It’s gratifying to know that James Lehman also agrees with this action. The discussion depends on age and developmental levels. However, now Thomas is 11 and Brandon is 8 and both are able to understand the concepts of “punishment,” “discipline,” etc.

We sat the boys down at the dining room table for a family discussion. I spoke for Daddy and I and made it clear that I was speaking on behalf of the “parental unit” that we are together. Some call that a “united front.” What follows is the basic agenda I followed:

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My 6 year-old son has developed a rather creative form of aggression. Unable to come up with anything more accurate or artistic, the name that my other (9 year-old) son, my fiancé, and I settled on is the word “chinny”.

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Dear EP Readers,
This is the last week that we’ll be featuring winning entries from our recent EP Contest in our blog. We appreciate all the parents who wrote in with suggestions for “Parenting Mistakes I’ve Made—and How I’m Going to Fix Them!” 

To all of our winners, thank you once again for the encouragement and inspiration you offer—you have truly empowered other parents out there with your words!

–Elisabeth Wilkins, EP Editor

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This week, we’re continuing to feature more winning entries from our recent contest, “Parenting Mistakes I’ve Made–and How I’m Going to Fix Them!” Each of these parents offers inspiration, encouragement and good, practical tips for all of us. Congratulations again!

–Elisabeth, EP Editor

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It is late January and my home is knee deep in the post-holiday let down, pre-birthday craze, cabin fever zoo/mess!  Now that I’ve finally packed up all the holiday “stuff” and the new toys have been well broken in, it seems we are back to hearing the mantra, “I’m bored!  There’s nothing to do…” and the incessant whining or fighting between the kids. Today, all I can think about is how spoiled my children can be!  They don’t even know how lucky they truly are; it saddens and frustrates me.  Granted we don’t have an extravagant lifestyle by any means, as we are somehow living on one income, but I do my best to provide games, toys and resources for the kids that, in my mind, enable them to never have “nothing” to do.  Of course every mother wishes her children would be grateful and enjoy what is offered, but too often they act as if it is just never enough.  Sometimes I just want to yell, “Enough!” myself!

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The recent devastating earthquake in Haiti, with its images of people and bodies being pulled from the rubble, has spurred a lot of hard (and good) conversations in our family about what we can do to help. My middle son, who’s impulsive and outgoing, wanted to rush there to rescue people “right away,” and has been scouring the house for change to bring to his school to add to their fundraising pot. My 7-year-old daughter, who is the first one ready in the morning and is organized to a fault, is helping her class to raise money for specific supplies. (And my teenager isn’t really involved in helping, because, let’s face it, he’s a teenager and not the most empathetic person on the planet right now! Still, we’ve had some good conversations about what it means to go through a natural disaster and have no food or shelter.)

The whole experience, while difficult and sad, has been important for my kids because it brings home the necessity of empathy in a child’s life—the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and really ask the question, “How would I feel? What would I want people to do for me in the same situation?”

In my mind, empathy is probably the most difficult, yet the most vital quality a child can possess. While no one can always be kind and empathic, I think it’s important to teach your child that empathy is a trait that your family values from an early age.

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My child’s behavior issues started at age two.  Out in public, he would appear to strangers to be a spoiled, indulged kid.  Strangers would glare at my ineffective parenting.  I kept quiet and secretly thought about printing up business cards to explain our situation.

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Congratulations to all the winners of our EP Contest, “Parenting Mistakes I’ve Made—and How I’m Going to Fix Them!” We received hundreds of entries from parents across North America, all trying their best to correct mistakes and use better parenting techniques with their children. Your words inspired all of us here at Empowering Parents; we thank you for sharing your challenges and solutions with us.

Each of our ten winners will receive a signed copy of James Lehman’s new book, Transform Your Problem Child. In addition, each winning submission will appear in the Empowering Parents blog over the next three weeks.

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